Although I couldn’t have cared less about the outcome of last night’s Super Bowl game (the Steelers weren’t in it and I didn’t hate either team that was playing), we did what we, and most of America does every year. We hunkered down in front of the TV with lots of high-fat content tasty food and watched the Super Bowl commercials.
This morning I debated on whether to eat a slice of leftover Pizza Hut thin and crispy Super Supreme pizza or one of the delicious enchiladas that Oldest Son’s girlfriend had made for Saturday’s dinner. I decided on the pizza, and planned on some enchiladas for lunch since there was almost a whole small casserole dish left and I was certain some would still be there at noon.
I busied myself with the week’s ironing upstairs, encouraging myself with the promise of a tasty lunch when I was done with that drudgery. But when I came downstairs, my heart sank when I saw the empty casserole dish on the sink. Noooooooo!
I knew immediately that Middle Son J had finished up the leftovers. He always finishes the good leftovers. I have learned to hide the good stuff (like in the fruit or veggie crisper–where they never look) when he’s around. He’s usually back at college by now, but the damn blizzard of 2010 has shut everything down. And emptied my fridge!
This weekend alone, he has not only scarfed up the good leftovers, but he has gone into my candy stash and raided my gummy bears, eaten almost the whole f-ing bag of Hershey kisses, and taken at least one bag of the beef jerky I like to keep as a snack at my desk when I’m back at work. I can’t say for sure that he eats more than Youngest Son, but Youngest Son never comes home from school. He’s right down the road but he’s so busy at college, that we only get to see him when his school actually shuts down for breaks.
This weekend while working on J’s taxes, I got to worrying. The weekend before, I had done our own taxes and had claimed J as a dependent. After all, he met all the tests when I figured our taxes. Clearly, he is:
Our child: check
A full-time student for at least a part of 5 months in 2009: check
Under the age of 24: check
U.S citizen/resident: check (his service in Germany is considered a temporary absence)
Support: clearly, we spend beau coups bucks on this kid
But then I decided to crunch the numbers a little more carefully with the little chart the IRS has to make sure we actually provided over 1/2 of J’s support. According to the chart, we can only claim an allocated portion of the household expenses per person. And we have to divide all these expenses equally between the people that live here. So…it matters not that J eats 2/3 of the groceries, has the biggest bedroom, or takes more showers than the rest of us. We are only allowed to figure in 1/5 of the household expenses as our support for him. It also doesn’t matter that the money he spends for himself is on stupid shit that I would never buy–like tattoos, and super loud truck mufflers. Those things are counted as what he spent on himself as support.
So far, the outcome is unclear. I’m going to have to dig up actual receipts on what we and on what he actually spent last year. It’s too close to take a guesstimate. But in my heart, and in my empty deprived stomach, I feel like J is well-supported by us.