Posts Tagged 'Sexism'

The Last Frontier in Discrimination

I wasn’t taught to feel this way.  The concept of sexism wasn’t even really an issue in my household back in the 1960’s and ’70’s when I grew up.  Mom worked outside the home part-time.  Dad could cook.  There generally wasn’t a lot of stress over household chores because my beautiful saintly little Italian grandma came over every day while mom worked and gladly did most of the day-to-day chores and got dinner started.  She spoiled us with popsicles and nickles for penny candy.

The sense of unfairness started to build about the time that my younger brother got out of weekend dish duties once he was old enough to cut our small lawn with the push mower.  Dad said that was only fair.  But it wasn’t.  I would gladly have pushed that lawn mower out in the warm sunshine instead of spending all day Saturday cleaning up dishes after the never-done-eating brother and dad.  (Mom happily worked at the downtown department store on Saturdays).  I hate housework today for the same reason I hated it then.  It’s tedious, thankless, and endless.  At least if I had to cut the grass, it would be noticeable and it wouldn’t need done again for a few days.  I remember being so riled up about the unfairness of it all that one day I just grabbed the kitchen faucet and yanked it from side to side in anger.  My dad thought it was quite amusing.

As I got older, the women’s movement for equal rights affected me deeply.  I subscribed to Ms. magazine.  I fumed over the way women were marginalized and treated unfairly.  I know for a fact that I’m every bit as good and smart and important as anyone else in this world.  My gender certainly doesn’t make me less so.  Yet, women are still treated differently.  We’re very often paid less than men for the same work, passed over for promotions we deserve, and still end up doing most of the crappy thankless housework.  Just because we’re female!sexistsuperman

In many circles, women are brainwashed to believe that their gender makes them subservient and relegated to a preordained role in life, whether or not that’s how they personally want to live their life.  They are taught to hide their talents and defer their dreams and submit to their man, whether he is right or clearly wrong.  Then, lest their true sense of fairness and justice allows them to question this, they are quoted excerpts written eons ago in various religious texts by men who lived when only the strong (or subservient) survived.

These books often talk about how all men are created equal, and to be kind to your brother.  They mention how to treat your slaves and your women.  Today, in the civilized world, we abhor slavery.  We don’t treat our slaves with kindness because we understand that slavery is wrong.  And we don’t have them.  But women are still supposed to submit to their husbands, just like they were instructed to thousands of years ago.

Thankfully, in most civilized cultures, we recognize that discrimination is evil and insidious.  A person’s worth is not determined by the color of his or her skin or the religion they grew up with.  How crazy is it that it’s still acceptable to treat our very own mothers, sisters, daughters and wives as something slightly less important than the men in our world?  How can anything rationalize this discrimination?

Wiring

As I unloaded the dishwasher for what seemed to be the hundredth time this week, I was cursing J’s college landlords under my breath.  He was supposed to be moved into his cozy little college apartment last week, the one they assured us would be completely constructed and ready to move in before the first week of school.  Instead, the poor kid has had to commute the 30 some miles every day, while I have had the pleasure of cleaning up the aftermath of his non-stop cooking and eating, and running the dishwasher every single day so we have glasses for him to mix up his various protein drinks and muscle-building concoctions.

According to some old-school gents on Dr. Phil yesterday, they just aren’t wired to do housework (implying that we women are!).  Their fragile little egos were damaged because instead of being out in the big wide world earning a paycheck, the recession has relegated them to the world of dirty dishes and laundry, while their wife brings home the bacon.  I’m not saying that losing one’s job wouldn’t be a blow to the ego, but these guys were mostly upset that now their wives were earning more money than they were (gasp!), and worse yet, they had to take care of the housework while she was out working!  One of them insisted that no way would he do that, and I wasn’t sure if he meant his wife would not work outside the home, meaning they would all go down in a sinking ship with no income at all, or if he expected her to not only go to work but then to take care of all the “menial” household duties that were so beneath his macho existence.

I did feel sorry for one newly retired man, however.  His wife seemed a bit anal and hostile over the idea that he was home while she was still working and going to school.  While I agree that if one spouse is working full-time and the other one is not, the bulk of the household duties should fall upon the one who is home most often to do them.  She nagged him about not doing more than he was doing, and criticized the way he cleaned house.  She bitched about the dust bunnies on the floor and bugged him about vacuuming the couch.  If I was married to her, I’d be in a heap of trouble!  In my world, as long as there is a decent meal ready sometime in the evening, clean clothes to wear and a pressed shirt for work, we’re doing okay.  When both of us are working full-time, we split up the household chores.  I launder and iron, hubby cooks and shops.  The household chores need to be done, and it’s all equally beneath both of us.  However, we suck it up and do it.

I find it hard to believe that in this day and age, there are still men out there that have never changed their child’s diaper or that expect their wife to do all the housework with no help from them because it’s “women’s work”.  I’m no more wired to clean a toilet than anybody else, and  it’s pretty obvious that these guys that think they’re too “manly” to scrub a floor are just too lazy and looking for an excuse.

On Feminism, Ugliness, and Hypocrisy–I’m Heaving It Out Folks

I’ve been stewing about this for days.  I’ve avoided writing too much about this because I didn’t want to get too ugly or offensive.  But now, after hearing Governor Palin’s speech, I don’t feel the need to get so ugly.  This woman can handle the ugliness, the sexism, and the hypocrisy that the left-wing media and good-ole-boys want to dish out.

There are just a few things in this world that really rile me up.  One is irresponsibility.  People that make big mistakes and don’t want to take responsibility for the consequences is one of the main problems in our country right now.  People make bad decisions all the time; that is human nature.  But when they will not take responsibility for their actions, when they want innocent people to bail them out of the results of their bad decisions, this really pisses me off.  Banks get greedy and make bad loans.  They should know better.  But when the little scheme backfires and people can’t pay back the loans, well, let’s get Joe Taxpayer to bail them out of their little gamble.  When people take out loans they should know they can’t afford, or build on flood plains without springing for any flood insurance, why should the rest of us who make better decisions and use common sense be forced to pay for it?  We’ve already paid for our own insurance, and our own higher interest rates on OUR mortgages.  None of these people were going to share with us if the little gamble worked out for them.

Another thing that scalds me is sexism.  The Democrats have used this issue for years, claiming themselves to be the champion of womens rights.  Women should be allowed to work outside the home.  Their kids will be fine in daycare.  Mommy doesn’t have to be chained to the house and kids.  I guess it’s fine so long as that woman is plugging along at minimum wage waiting on tables, or teaching at preschool.  It’s ok if she wants to be a clerical gal.  But the minute a woman wants to step into a position of power, a position those big-shot men want for themselves, well, suddenly they start worrying about the poor babies at home without their mommy.  Nobody ever freaking worried about Al Gore’s 4 kids under Tipper’s care while he was Vice President.  Why the sudden concern for Governor Palin’s family?  What about Barack Obama’s two adorable little girls?  How will they survive while Daddy does all his Presidential duties?

I happened to walk past the TV today when that horrible show, “The View,” was on.  I never intentionally watch that show since it makes me retch.  They can’t possibly pay poor Elisabeth Hasselbeck nearly enough to sit there every day and put up with the bile spewing from those big-mouthed vapid witches.  Little Liberal Whoopie, normally so pro-woman, is just tsk-tsking away about how all these “little” kids are going to manage without their mommy.  You freaking liberal hypocrite!  First of all, one of the “little” kids is old enough to be in the military.  The second “little” kid is soon going to have her own little kid, and she and her boyfriend are actually taking responsibility for the little “mistake” they made.  Hmmm. responsibility.  It’s a word not often found in the vocabulary of these liberals, the party of missing daddies, aborted mistakes, and politicians who won’t sign their poor rejected child’s birth certificate.

There.  I said it.  Well, at least some of it.  Enough to feel better for now.  Unfortunately, I’m sure the hypocrites of the world will get me fired up again.

Live And Let Live…But Sometimes…

One of the most wonderful things about our country is, for the most part, we can all pretty much do our own thing. We can worship as we see fit, with a few exceptions we can spend our money on what we want, and as long as we’re doing no obvious harm, we can raise our family without interference. I have my own beliefs and value system, but I believe everyone has the right to process the world and live in it in a way that makes sense to them. Don’t bother me, I won’t bother you, and we can get along just fine. We can even be friends.

That’s why I kind of surprised myself when I just had to react to a blog I read. I’ve read many blogs that I may not agree with, but I can kind of see where the person is coming from. In the few instances where I’ve felt compelled to leave a comment, it’s always been a thumbs up or an agreeable comment. And I certainly didn’t want to disrespect these people. They MAY be very nice people. But their mindset is so sad, I just had to open my big mouth (so to speak).

I’m just browsing, and something caught my eye about calling your husband “master.” I thought perhaps this was a tongue-in-cheek thing, so I clicked on it to perhaps be amused. And this woman was dead serious, as were some of the respondents that the man should rule the household and the woman should happily “submit” to this nonsense. To their credit, they printed my response and I’m sure they will never understand my viewpoint because they see the world only in literal terms, in black and white. And I know many people think this way; sadly, these are not the only people out there that live like this. But here’s the way I see it:

First of all, if you want to take the spiritual view: We are all made in God’s image. And God is a spirit: a genderless, without-a-body spirit. Maybe some of these people feel better thinking He’s an ancient man with a long beard, but I think most of the population has evolved enough to be able to see things more abstractly.

Second of all, this is such a cop out. These chest-thumping men that always have to have things their way and so spew some Bible quotes so that they can bully their wives and children are living by the laws of the jungle. Whoever is physically strong survives, and the weaker must submit or die. Of course, in this country there are laws against this now, so they intimidate these weak-minded women with the fear of eternal damnation. Whatever happened to using your “talents.” Why should women hide their talents, defer to someone they know is wrong, give up on their own ideas, simply because their husband has a PENIS? In fact, I’m sure many REAL men will agree that the PENIS is often responsible for helping them make a perhaps not-so-brilliant decision.

And, to end this little rant session, what if you accidentally marry an asshole? I can see where a weaker woman may be relieved to leave all the decisions up to their husband–and vice-versa. But people marry young, and the true colors of a spouse might not show up until after the wedding. So, you’re stuck married to a mean, self-centered idiot who does not make good decisions, and yet he gets to run your one and only life, your chance to make a difference in this world, and worse yet, is responsible for the precious children in your lives–and you stand back and say “yes, dear.” The kids need shoes but go buy your fancy new car–or whatever makes this type of man feel like a man.

Okay. Enough said.


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