Posts Tagged 'senior moments'

Fish Oil Fallacies – Fat or Flaky?

I’m a bit of a doubting Thomasina.  I don’t automatically believe what I’m told to believe.  I like to see the evidence.  I need to weigh the possibilities.  I read and do research, especially on the hugely important issues in my life–such as, why the hell am I getting fatter now when I’m back to exercising and trying to cut back on the snackies?

It just doesn’t make sense.  I know I got careless last year when the girls came to live with us and whittled me down 10 pounds through sheer exhaustion.  I squandered that wonderful jump-start to a svelte new me by indulging in ice cream and other late night goodies as a reward for my mothering efforts.  The weight slowly crept back as we settled into a more normal slacker mom routine, but I was avoiding THE number (the number on the scale where I start to panic) by running here and there and kind of trying to eat healthy.

Unfortunately, while the body got soft and pudgy, the brain was losing serious muscle tone too.  I’d say something and Big Daddy and J would exchange glances.  Incredulous and sometimes worried glances.   I’d spend countless minutes each day trying to locate something that I’d just had in my hand moments before.    I’d forget why I walked into a room.  It was the same old spacy me — only magnified to the hundredth power.  And so Big Daddy gently advised me to start taking the fish oil capsules he purchased, the ones that cost a fortune and he quit taking because they gave him fish burps.  They’re supposed to keep you young and sharp, lubricating not only tired old joints but creaky old neurons in the brain.  I remembered that I used to take them.  I couldn’t remember why I’d stopped. 

Now that I’m semi-lucid again thanks to that daily infusion of miraculous omega-3 fatty acid, I remember why I quit taking them before.  I started gaining weight.  When I should be losing–or at least maintaining.  Just like now.

Normally, I would never ever suspect that a tiny capsule of fatty fish oil would make me fat.  But the facts say “check it out!”  A google search showed that others have inquired about whether taking fish oil might make them fat.  And each inquiry was answered using the reassuring spiel that not only does it not make you fat, studies have shown that it may help you lose weight.  Seriously, are these the same studies that tried to shove man-made global warming down our throats?

And I’m wondering why these other people posed this question.  Were they just curious?  Or were they exercising and dieting like crazy and still getting fatter like me?

So at least until Oldest Son’s wedding next month, I’m going to play it safe and lay off the fatty little capsules.  You may need to patiently direct me to the groom’s side, or help me find my misplaced keys, but at least I won’t be busting the seams on the cute little dress I’m planning to wear.

 

New Mom Dementia

At 52, I could blame it on my age–you know, those blasted senior moments.  But I spend half my day looking for things like my shoes, the keys, the baby’s eyeglasses.  Sad to say, the eight-year-old is creating more order in my life than I am able to do for myself.  She is so used to being the one in charge, the little mother figure, that she has taken it upon herself to totally reorganize and straighten two of the messier areas of my home–my desk where my computer sits, and one of my kitchen counters.  Big Daddy was annoyed by my desk every time he sat down to use the computer.  I guess Bonus Child didn’t like my clutter either.  Her organizational skills are impeccable, and after she arranged everything, she even dusted!  She also does a better job fixing the baby’s hair than I do, but I’m getting better.  The other day when we were going out shopping and I put the baby’s hair into little wispy pigtails (with awkward strands sticking out like the Bride of Frankenstein), Bonus Child told me she was kind of embarrassed to go out with her sister’s hair like that because it “looked ugly.”

Of course, Bonus Child’s baby sister is probably the main reason the last vestiges of clarity are being sucked dry from my brain.  Bonus Baby is the most hilarious raspy-voiced little bundle of energy in my world.  She is busy every moment of the day, running after me, tattling on the boys (even if they haven’t done anything), clowning around and making us laugh.  I vaguely remember days like this when my boys were little; however, I know they would sit and play by themselves or sit and watch a movie or Sesame Street.  Bonus Baby will have none of that sitting still stuff, yet her two-year-old tantrums are very short, and she is generally a very cheerful child, eager to please and well-behaved when we go out.

It wasn’t exactly in my plan to be this busy at my age.  We were looking for a school-aged child when we decided to take in a foster child.  We were open to siblings; in fact I thought it might be easier for a child to feel comfortable with another family member.  But when they called us about these two little sisters, eight and “almost three” (as they put it), it was too hard to turn them down.  And I think it was meant to be.  We love these girls already, and I’m pretty sure they like it here.  They’re both learning how to swim like little fishes.  I heard the older girl happily humming away today like the child she has never been able to be.  And for the first time in over a week, Bonus Baby hasn’t cried for the usual half-hour after I put her to bed.  She just looked up at me after I tucked her into her sheets and said, “Good night, mommy,” with a tired little smile on her face.

Wow, Am I Dumb.

There was a phrase that Big Daddy(my hubby) and I used to use, back when we were younger, referring to older women that wandered around aimlessly in grocery stores, drove 30 mph in the left passing lane without getting over, and just generally meandered glassy-eyed through life.  “Middle-aged crazy,” we’d chuckle, shaking our heads.  Now I’m not laughing anymore because not only am I middle-aged, but I may be stepping into the realm of the Middle-Aged Crazies.  Example One:  I really thought that was a picture of my dog Sky that I posted yesterday.  It was, after all, on our computer.  It is a boxer with very similar coloring.  In fact, even though I couldn’t recall the floor it was standing on and I didn’t think she ever had a purple collar, the fog just didn’t lift quite enough for me to grasp the reality until I picked up Youngest Son from college.  He asked me why I posted some random dog on my blog when he had sent me so many good pictures of Sky.   Wow.  Then Thunderbolt Number Two–and this one is disturbing.  I never realized that little lab rats, after performing their duties for science, were then euthanized.  This new knowledge just upset me immensely.  Not that I’m overly fond of rodents.  I wouldn’t want to find a rat in my house.  I don’t know where I thought they would go.  I guess I just never thought about it which makes me feel really dumb considering my age and all.  So, about that tax return I’ve been working on.  I think I’ll check it over several times before I send it off into cyberspace.  I’m feeling kinda dumb today.


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