Posts Tagged 'military mom'

Lounging in Limbo

Within the month, we should have a much clearer picture about two life-changing events in the lives of my family members.  The first one involves Middle Son J.  About three days before he was scheduled to be deployed, first for training stateside, and then on to Afghanistan, he and others in his unit received an e-mail saying that due to military budget cuts, about 50 soldiers would not be sent.  J’s name was on that list.  Of course, we were all in disbelief.  I felt like the death row inmate who had just been pardoned at 5 minutes until midnight.   J, however, was initially very upset, as were some of his buddies–both those who also were cut, and the ones still scheduled to go–but now without the buddies they had planned to go into battle with.  After the shock wore off, though, J began to see the upside and readjusted his battlemind back to the positives of staying home, finishing school, and not leaving his girlfriend Kathy for a year.  Until the next day…when they were informed that they should disregard that first e-mail.  No final orders were issued.  They would carry on as if nothing had happened.  If they got the final orders while they were at training, they would be sent back home.  If not, they would be going to Afghanistan.   So he’s away at training and no one seems to know for sure what’s going on.  It has been a roller coaster ride, to say the least.

The second decision is another one completely out of our hands.  We are pretty much spectators, waiting for someone else to shape the direction of our lives.  And the process leading to this decision will begin tomorrow.  We were informed last month that the family court judge who is in charge of deciding where our foster daughters and their siblings will be placed has asked that we be present at the courthouse tomorrow.  And I’m nervous.  I have no idea what to expect.  In fact, I’m not even sure if this is for real.  I have nothing in writing.  No calls from the county.  Just a call last month to Big Daddy–from the kids’ lawyer–that we were to meet with the judge.  Big Daddy is going to e-mail her later today to verify that this meeting is still on, and that nothing has been canceled.

I’m scared it may be canceled.  I’m nervous if it’s not canceled.  I haven’t seen the girls since late September.    I have no idea if they’re scheduled to be at this hearing.  I want to see them again.  I’m afraid to see them again.

Big Daddy has seen the girls since they left our home.  He showed up at one of their scheduled hearings to see what was going on (even though we are never really sure what is going on since we foster parents are relegated to sitting out in the waiting area), and to remind the kids’ lawyer to mention that we are very much willing to adopt the girls if that becomes the final determination.  We have been very lucky to find some caring people who, like us, want what is best for the kids.  It doesn’t always work out that way.

At first the kids walked right past him in the courthouse, without a hint of recognition.  It was early, they didn’t expect him to be there, they had just moved on and forgotten about us???  For the first time Big Daddy wasn’t sure we were doing the right thing by trying to get them back.  But we had to let them know.  We hadn’t abandoned them.  We were fighting to get them back.  It was NOT our lie that they were going to be living with their siblings–and then dumped somewhere else–away from not only their biological family, but now also the family and friends that had loved and nurtured them for the last year and a half.

And then he saw Bonus Baby–sitting on her bio mom’s lap–chattering away and pointing at him across the room.   He walked over to them and said, “Who am I?”  Her mom laughed and said, “Yeah, she keeps pointing and asking ‘Who is that?’.”   “You know who I am,”  Big Daddy said, and all his doubts melted away when Bonus Baby reached out her arms to him and said, “Daaaaddy!”

Then it was like she never left.  She talked about the black thing on the pool (the winter cover).  Then she talked about J’s leg and how he hurt it.  She asked him where Mommy(me) was, then put her hand on her hip and asked with a sneaky grin, “Is she still sleeping?”  Of course Big Daddy got a kick out of that!

It was funny in a been-there-done-that kind of way when the new foster mom related how, when Bonus Child came in to tell her that Bonus Baby had put her lotion on her bed, that they had no idea at first that she’d meant she had actually slathered a whole bottle of lotion on the bed sheets.  And it was heart-wrenching when it was time for Bonus Baby to leave the courthouse, and she wrapped her arms around Big Daddy’s neck and said, “I want to go home wif you, Daddy.”

And tomorrow, my emotions , too, will be getting a vigorous workout.






Back in the USA!!

OMG!  OMG!  OMG!  Guess who I just got off the phone with?  Yes, Soldier Son is back on US soil.

This morning, I was greeted with an e-mail saying he was in Germany.  A couple hours later, I hear his voice on the phone saying he’s landed in North Carolina.  I knew he was coming home soon.  That still did not prepare me to actually hear his voice this afternoon.  I must have screamed a little.  I heard him explaining to someone that “That’s my mom.  Yeah, she’s a little loud.”  Haha.

He’s not sure exactly when he’ll get back home, but it should be within 4 to 5 days.  He should definitely be here for Thanksgiving.

We have a lot to give thanks for.

Yay! News From Iraq

We finally got an e-mail from Soldier Son. A sandstorm originally delayed his relocation, and he was living out of his backpack for a while. They just recently convoyed to their current location and he sounds happy. He even saw a kitty- -on the streets of Iraq. I’m hoping that’s the scariest thing he sees there. 🙂

Back here, not much is going on. We just had the most wonderful week of 85-90 degree sunny weather and brilliant blue skies. Perfect summer days–and it’s still technically Spring! The pool temp was up to 94 degrees–until Youngest Son and Shayna left the pool cover off last night. And now it’s raining.

We had a Scrabble rematch last night. This time, it was me and Youngest Son neck and neck for the win. He squeaked by me at the end, but it was worth it when he set me up for a brilliant triple word coup worth over 40 points. He was fuming. I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Shayna and Big Daddy were debating on who was more obnoxious about winning.

There are a lot of things I’ve been stewing about and I think next week I may start my ranting right here. But today, I’m just glad I heard from Soldier Son.

Mama’s Macho Men

My boys–well, actually, I guess they’re technically men–are wishing for things that this mama would never wish for them.  And some of these wishes are coming true.  And thankfully, some are not.  Right around the time we found out Middle Son J was going to be deployed overseas for a year, my oldest son let us know that he finally will get to do what he was trained to do.  He is currently serving in Iraq, and while this is scary enough, for some reason he has been stuck behind a computer in product development.  This has made Big Daddy and I fairly happy and relieved because while it is still possible for some random projectile to find its way to our son, it is less likely for something awful to happen there than when he’s out roaming the streets.  But he wasn’t happy tucked away in an office.  He wants to be on a tactical team, like he was trained.  He wants to be out there, in harm’s way, doing what he believes in.  And now he’s finally getting his wish.

Middle Son J, while most disturbed by the suddenness of his deployment and the changes he will have to make in his life right now, was also disappointed that he was NOT being sent into an actual combat zone.  Big Daddy and I are heaving huge sighs of relief and  J’s pissed that he won’t be able to earn an “awesome” combat patch.

What’s wrong with these guys?  Is it their youth or is it too much testosterone?  Because as much as I can see myself in my sons, from J’s propensity to road rage to some of Soldier Son’s geeky quirkiness, I always run AWAY from danger. As far away as I can get!  I’m such chicken shit I’ve never even had a broken bone!

Maybe you can shout me a holler when you get where you’re going to, Soldier Son.  I know you’re moving to your new location about now.  I’m going to hate not being able to get in touch with you as often as I used to.  When I don’t hear from you I think the worst.  So try to keep in touch for your chicken shit mama’s sake–and please don’t take any unnecessary chances.   😦

Second Son Deployed

Yesterday, Middle Son J hung around the house with me, helping me out.  Since he bakes way more often than I, I asked him for his advice on greasing the pans for Big Daddy’s birthday cake.  I wasn’t sure if I could just spray the pans with my butter-flavored PAM or if I should butter and flour the pans like my mom taught me to do.  He probably would have just baked the thing for me had I asked, but I wanted to do it myself for Big D’s birthday.  When I asked him if he knew where the mixer was, he didn’t just answer me.  He actually got up to help me look.  That’s the way J is.  He may make the biggest messes, but he always goes out of his way to help out.  He’s surprised me quite a few times by cleaning up the kitchen without anybody asking.  Last time he cut the grass for the old neighbor lady, he wouldn’t take her money.

He didn’t bother looking for a job around here this summer because he is scheduled to leave today for some Army Reserve training.  He’s supposed to be gone for several weeks and the pay he’ll receive would be comparable to having a part-time job all summer.  He was kind of dreading going to this training because it’s supposed to be pretty tough and will take him out of his comfort zone, but it’s something that I think will make him even stronger than he is.  So he was already looking forward to when he’d be back home from this class, and he could just enjoy the rest of his summer hanging out with friends and getting ready to go back to school in August.

Well, I guess the Army had other plans.  You see, they may be Army s-l-o-w about some things, but when they want YOU for something, you don’t get a lot of warning.  He just found out that almost as soon as he gets back from this training, he is being deployed.  Thank God it won’t be into a combat zone like his brother, but it will be far away from home, on another continent.  He’ll have another year away from school.  He’ll be gone before his older brother comes home on leave.  And even though he won’t be in a high risk area, I know that there are nuts everywhere and I’ll be worried.  I’m going to miss my J.

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August 2020

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