Posts Tagged 'Kimberly-Clark'

Soft Tissue My Butt

Getting things back to normal around here has been my priority lately.  I spent the past couple of days cutting out the grocery coupons that piled up during tax season.  The fact that I often have to pay full price for things when I’m working full-time is just another of those pesky costs of working.

Another thing I’ve been busy doing is restocking the cupboards and cabinets.  The supply of toilet paper was getting dangerously low.  My excitement was a little over-the-top when I looked through the Sunday ads and saw that this was the week CVS had Scott paper products on sale–Scott towels and Scott toilet paper.  “I’m so pumped,” I yelled.  “This makes my day!”  Big Daddy and Middle Son J just kind of looked at each other like they often do when I speak.  They just don’t understand.

Anyways, my heart started beating even faster when I remembered cutting out some coupons for Scott toilet paper.  This could be one of those savings home runs!  I haven’t avoided the 40-hour-a-week rat race all these years sitting on my laurels, you know.

I dug up my CVS card, grabbed my wallet, and scooped up my paper products coupons.  Then I noticed that every single Scott toilet paper coupon I had was for their crappy Extra Soft tissue.  If  I wanted soft toilet paper, I wouldn’t be buying Scott.  They’re the master of real toilet paper.  That’s how they made their fortune.  Strong.  Durable.  Unscented.  Some things are just better when they’re a little rough and hard.  ; )

Manly blue-wrapped butt paper

I live in a house full of guys.  They don’t want that soft perfumey crap.  For those that prefer to pamper their butts, there are a huge variety of toilet papers out there to choose from.  And you know what?  Most of them do it better.  I’ve bought the Extra-Soft Scott.  It leaves behind a Hansel-and-Gretel white trail of crumbs, moreso than say Charmin or Cottonelle.  Even worse, they try to sell you the extra large extra soft rolls so that you have to use an enclosed adapter so that the roll will fit on your toilet paper holder.

Purple-is-for-girls wrapper

Guess what, Kimberly-Clark?  If you have to endlessly entice consumers to buy your extra-soft tissue with coupons, maybe they don’t like that product.  Save us all some money, drop the extra-soft garbage, and lower the price on your good-ol’ standard toilet paper.  Even with the coupons on the extra-soft, people still buy the rough and ready variety.  When there’s a good sale, I’m sometimes forced to buy the soft stuff because the other is sold out!  Rethink your strategy, KC.  America’s butts are counting on you.


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