Posts Tagged 'fat fat the water rat'

Fish Oil Fallacies – Fat or Flaky?

I’m a bit of a doubting Thomasina.  I don’t automatically believe what I’m told to believe.  I like to see the evidence.  I need to weigh the possibilities.  I read and do research, especially on the hugely important issues in my life–such as, why the hell am I getting fatter now when I’m back to exercising and trying to cut back on the snackies?

It just doesn’t make sense.  I know I got careless last year when the girls came to live with us and whittled me down 10 pounds through sheer exhaustion.  I squandered that wonderful jump-start to a svelte new me by indulging in ice cream and other late night goodies as a reward for my mothering efforts.  The weight slowly crept back as we settled into a more normal slacker mom routine, but I was avoiding THE number (the number on the scale where I start to panic) by running here and there and kind of trying to eat healthy.

Unfortunately, while the body got soft and pudgy, the brain was losing serious muscle tone too.  I’d say something and Big Daddy and J would exchange glances.  Incredulous and sometimes worried glances.   I’d spend countless minutes each day trying to locate something that I’d just had in my hand moments before.    I’d forget why I walked into a room.  It was the same old spacy me — only magnified to the hundredth power.  And so Big Daddy gently advised me to start taking the fish oil capsules he purchased, the ones that cost a fortune and he quit taking because they gave him fish burps.  They’re supposed to keep you young and sharp, lubricating not only tired old joints but creaky old neurons in the brain.  I remembered that I used to take them.  I couldn’t remember why I’d stopped. 

Now that I’m semi-lucid again thanks to that daily infusion of miraculous omega-3 fatty acid, I remember why I quit taking them before.  I started gaining weight.  When I should be losing–or at least maintaining.  Just like now.

Normally, I would never ever suspect that a tiny capsule of fatty fish oil would make me fat.  But the facts say “check it out!”  A google search showed that others have inquired about whether taking fish oil might make them fat.  And each inquiry was answered using the reassuring spiel that not only does it not make you fat, studies have shown that it may help you lose weight.  Seriously, are these the same studies that tried to shove man-made global warming down our throats?

And I’m wondering why these other people posed this question.  Were they just curious?  Or were they exercising and dieting like crazy and still getting fatter like me?

So at least until Oldest Son’s wedding next month, I’m going to play it safe and lay off the fatty little capsules.  You may need to patiently direct me to the groom’s side, or help me find my misplaced keys, but at least I won’t be busting the seams on the cute little dress I’m planning to wear.



An Accountant’s New Year’s Day

We’re so predictable.  After you’ve been around for a while (like me), you start to notice the cycles of life.  They’re created by the weaknesses, and then the resiliency, of the human spirit.  We succumb to the temptations of the holidays only to make desperate yet well-intentioned resolutions after the holiday season.  Every January I laugh at the sales circulars advertising storage bins and home organizers.  We gather more things, then crave a simpler more organized home.

For us tax accountants, there is yet another season of reckless abandon and giving in to vices.  April 16th becomes our new years day of hope and salvation, strength and resolution.

Of course, the only vice we have time for during tax season is stuffing our face with comfort food.  And maybe an extra glass or two of wine or beer in the evening.  Coupled with sitting at a desk for 8 to 10 hours a day and no desire to spend the few precious work-free moments sweating to the oldies, the resolve to get back into shape before swim-suit season will be very powerful.  Unlike New Years Day resolutions, these ones may even last longer than a few weeks.

My boss understands the motivation of tax-season comfort food.  Friday, he stopped at each of our offices and asked which “fattening, not-good-for-you food” we would prefer for Saturday morning.  “Donuts, cobblestones, or Danish?” he asked.  I was pretty sure the boss liked the cobblestone muffins, but I myself prefer a good cheese danish.  I heard Ron say he wanted cobblestones.

As much as I don’t normally crave pastries (I prefer my empty calories in the form of decadent dips and cheesy delights), I have to give a huge thumbs up to the bakery wizards at Panera Bread.  While Ron and my boss were marveling at the magnificent size of the cobblestone muffin tops, I stood drooling at the loveliness of the ring of Danish before me.  It was a continuous connected ring of cheese, cherry, and apple danish.  I couldn’t decide which I wanted so I cut off a cheese AND a cherry danish.  And then I went back for another cherry-filled flaky pastry.

In about two weeks, they’re going to have to pry me out of my desk chair and roll me out the door for our annual after-tax-season luncheon.  But you’ll probably see me, the very next day, gingerly jogging through the streets of my neighborhood, firmly resolved to get back into my bathing suit before it’s time to open the pool.

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