New Mom Dementia

At 52, I could blame it on my age–you know, those blasted senior moments.  But I spend half my day looking for things like my shoes, the keys, the baby’s eyeglasses.  Sad to say, the eight-year-old is creating more order in my life than I am able to do for myself.  She is so used to being the one in charge, the little mother figure, that she has taken it upon herself to totally reorganize and straighten two of the messier areas of my home–my desk where my computer sits, and one of my kitchen counters.  Big Daddy was annoyed by my desk every time he sat down to use the computer.  I guess Bonus Child didn’t like my clutter either.  Her organizational skills are impeccable, and after she arranged everything, she even dusted!  She also does a better job fixing the baby’s hair than I do, but I’m getting better.  The other day when we were going out shopping and I put the baby’s hair into little wispy pigtails (with awkward strands sticking out like the Bride of Frankenstein), Bonus Child told me she was kind of embarrassed to go out with her sister’s hair like that because it “looked ugly.”

Of course, Bonus Child’s baby sister is probably the main reason the last vestiges of clarity are being sucked dry from my brain.  Bonus Baby is the most hilarious raspy-voiced little bundle of energy in my world.  She is busy every moment of the day, running after me, tattling on the boys (even if they haven’t done anything), clowning around and making us laugh.  I vaguely remember days like this when my boys were little; however, I know they would sit and play by themselves or sit and watch a movie or Sesame Street.  Bonus Baby will have none of that sitting still stuff, yet her two-year-old tantrums are very short, and she is generally a very cheerful child, eager to please and well-behaved when we go out.

It wasn’t exactly in my plan to be this busy at my age.  We were looking for a school-aged child when we decided to take in a foster child.  We were open to siblings; in fact I thought it might be easier for a child to feel comfortable with another family member.  But when they called us about these two little sisters, eight and “almost three” (as they put it), it was too hard to turn them down.  And I think it was meant to be.  We love these girls already, and I’m pretty sure they like it here.  They’re both learning how to swim like little fishes.  I heard the older girl happily humming away today like the child she has never been able to be.  And for the first time in over a week, Bonus Baby hasn’t cried for the usual half-hour after I put her to bed.  She just looked up at me after I tucked her into her sheets and said, “Good night, mommy,” with a tired little smile on her face.

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15 Responses to “New Mom Dementia”


  1. 1 Cyndi June 21, 2010 at 8:11 am

    Oh Les, I have been dying to hear about the girls! This made me cry. I can identify with the little mommy as that was SO me. Giving her a childhood as you are is….well, priceless.

    Two year olds are such a mixed bag of absolute hilarity and downright frustration. I remember that age well, and I also remember that 3 was even more challenging!! She sounds like a joy to have around and calling you mommy is so incredibly touching after such a short time with you. Sounds like you are doing an amazing job despite your “senior moments”. 🙂

    How does this work? Do you eventually adopt the girls or are they with you until another family decides to adopt them?

    • 2 les June 21, 2010 at 8:35 am

      I think after 18 months, a decision has to be made whether they can go back home. If they can’t, we would have the opportunity to adopt them, if we wanted. I’ve heard that biological families can appeal…for years sometimes. But from what I understand, they would stay here during the appeals process. The county they’re from would handle all the details and costs.

  2. 3 Consuella Banana Hammock June 21, 2010 at 8:29 am

    of course you are having senior moments! oh my gosh, you just took on two children. my brain would be short circuiting!

    i have been waiting to hear how things are going. it sounds great. tiring but great. girls humming and the little one calling you mommy. good night. i got all teary eyed.

    what a gift you are giving these girls. what an amazing person you are!

  3. 5 lynette June 21, 2010 at 8:59 am

    i too have been wondering how it is all going! i have no words — your joy and excitement come shining through.

    those are two lucky girls — talk about answering the right call 🙂

  4. 7 Dawn June 21, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    I would not have guessed you’re 52 years old. It’s a precious gift to be thought of and called “Mommy” by children not born to us, but given.

    I treasure the news and am happy with you. It’s a magical time.

    • 8 les June 21, 2010 at 11:10 pm

      I’m 52 in years, Dawn, but according to my kids, I’m about 12 in maturity level. I think that’s why the kids like me. They can relate 🙂

  5. 9 robinaltman June 21, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    I’m so happy to hear about how you and the girls are doing! They sound totally adorable. I’m so glad Bonus Child gets to mellow out and be a kid with you. What a wonderful gift. Bonus Baby sounds like a hoot! You’re going to age backwards from now on, I just know it!

    • 10 les June 21, 2010 at 11:14 pm

      Believe it or not, my weight is going backwards! I’m so busy keeping up with the kids and eating only when I get the chance that I’ve lost more in a week than months of exercising. How awesome if I get to age backwards, also!!

  6. 11 paula June 23, 2010 at 3:21 am

    Amazing and so jealous that you get to buy for and play with little girls! They are so lucky to have all of you. I’m looking forward to your sharing stories and updates.

    • 12 les June 23, 2010 at 9:19 am

      I know, Paula. I didn’t really think I’d get into the girl thing that much. But I’m actually having fun buying little PINK things. I never even LIKED pink before.

  7. 13 Tammy June 28, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Your story warmed my heart! How lucky are those little girls! And, I think you are lucky too!

    I am not sure if you have mentioned why the girls are not with their biological parents but regardless I think it is so wonderful there are people like you in the world to help these girls.

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  1. 1 Fixing Mom’s Dementia » Maude Vang Trackback on April 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

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