Men Bite…And Stab

Sooo…the other night, I’m finishing up with dinner preparation.  We were eating rather late because Big Daddy was spending the bulk of the evening on one of his marathon bicycle rides.  I heard him come in through the basement after his ride, so I got the slotted spoon to start taking the cabbage out of the pan of water and into a serving bowl.  I don’t know if he came home super hungry or what, but for some reason, he starts taking over without saying he was taking over.  I mean, you know, had he said, “Go sit down. I’ll finish up here,” I would have gladly left the room.  But instead, he gets in my way, knocks the slotted spoon off the counter and as I lunge to catch it before it hits the floor, he stabs me with some sharp utensil that plunges through my hand near the base of my right thumb.

“AAARGHHH“…I grab my wrist and ran toward the powder room, crying and screaming “I’m stabbed, OMG he stabbed me,” and started running cold water on it to stop the blood and hopefully numb the pain.  I ran right past Oldest Son, lying on the couch playing some hand held video game.  I don’t even think he looked up.  Big Daddy comes moseying in, looked at my hand and said surprised, “Oh, it’s bleeding.”  Like, no shit, Sherlock, that’s what happens when you pierce living flesh with a sharp object.  A minute or two later, Middle Son J comes downstairs and says, “I thought someone was being killed down here.”  Well, so proud and happy you came down to intervene on my behalf.  At least you didn’t wait until I started to decompose.

Big Daddy was kind enough to bandage my hand with some gauze.  “I’m done in here,” I muttered as I left the kitchen and sat in front of the computer to cry and feel sorry for myself.  Big Daddy finished getting the corned beef and cabbage to the table, and we all ate.  My hand throbbed, but I managed later to put the leftovers away before the food spoiled.  I was wondering to myself why hubby wasn’t so eager for kitchen duty now when I actually could use the help.

I left the bulk of the dishes on the counter.  My hand hurt and I was feeling depressed.  I plopped my butt on my recliner, leaned back, and went to sleep.  To his credit, Big Daddy had cleaned up the rest of the kitchen by the time I woke up.  I woke up the next morning with a huge headache and some major depression.  For some reason, this injury pushed me over the edge.  At the risk of sending hubby on some week-long pouting session, I will try to dissect what sent me into a downward spiral, one that caused me to spend the bulk of a beautiful Saturday afternoon in bed, and the rest of the day a snapping bitchy wench.  Stay tuned.

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20 Responses to “Men Bite…And Stab”


  1. 1 Cyndi May 16, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    Hmmm….well, this is a side of you we don’t get to hear about often. I like it. Not that you are feeling lousy but that you are writing about it. We all feel lousy sometimes and it is gutsy to put it out there.

    From my own admittedly twisted perspective this sounds like you don’t feel appreciated. As if you do much more for everyone in your house than they do for you? As if you do these things with the expectation that you will get something more from them than they are currently giving in return? Resentment?

    I could be WAY off but that’s how I identified with this story based on my own experiences so figured I’d throw it out there since you seem to be unsure of why you feel so bad.

    I hope you are feeling better soon…I can certainly relate to the downward spiral and it isn’t fun.

    • 2 les May 16, 2010 at 7:31 pm

      Yep, I know I’ve shocked you all, but I’m not all sunshine and rosebuds. And yep, you’re good, Cyndi. You’ll see when I finish the rest of the story.

  2. 3 robinaltman May 16, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    I feel like we’re living the same life in slightly altered universes, like the ones in Fringe. You’re my Fringe twin.

    Once Adam absent-mindedly sprained my finger while pushing it back to crack my knuckles, even though he knows I hate cracking body parts, and it made me insane. It symbolized all the retarded things Adam does even though I repeatedly tell him not to, and I was so pissed I almost exploded. I screamed, “I’m a person! I exist! See me? You live with another human being, you moron!”

    So I think you’re just perfect. 😉

  3. 5 lynette May 16, 2010 at 11:01 pm

    i remember when my first husband had the nerve to work on restoring a violin bow and allow the stupid swiss army knife (correct, no locking blade) to close on his finger, ending up in the ER driven by a friend.

    it was the first night of passover, and we were hosting a seder for about 16 people, with no dishwasher (he was supposed to be the dishwasher!), and he did not even leave me a note (i came home when he was at the ER).

    i was so mad! he got no sympathy from me. he couldn’t wash dishes for two weeks. i realize that in my story, HE was the injured one, but i felt deeply injured too — i had to cook AND clean — and a seder is not an easy thing to pull off on your own..

    i would be pissed that no one reacted with immediate concern and attentiveness in your shoes….

    • 6 les May 16, 2010 at 11:13 pm

      Well, Lynette, I think they’re under the mistaken impression that I can be overly dramatic. And well, that’s only true sometimes. This time there was real life blood, and I couldn’t move my hand too well the next day. So they should all be very sorry!! For sure!

      And that was a pretty dramatic way for your hubby to get out of dishes, by the way! Like I said, men bite!

    • 7 lynette May 17, 2010 at 6:27 am

      oh no, i didn’t mean you were being overly-dramatic. my ex himself was so far from dramatic — however, it was even more annoying that it was a main topic of conversation at the seder.

      when my son was about 6 months old, i sliced my finger open with a food processor blade washing dishes (weird, dish theme), and knew right away we would need to go to the ER. my current husband insisted it was no big deal, just put pressure on it. so an hour and a half later, having “put pressure on it” nursed the baby, i finally convinced him to drive me — 5 stitches thank you!

      it was the lack of concern that made me feel bad — not drama bad, but i would have expressed and acted on concern for someone if the shoes were on the other feet.

      then there is always hormones 😉

  4. 8 Consuella Banana Hammock May 17, 2010 at 9:58 am

    i am so glad you wrote about this! i think every mom and wife can relate to this post. i know i can. when i read it, it reminded me how i react when i feel under valued. i mean we women do so many things every day to keep the house running and the family fed. seriously, no one has any idea all the shit we do. then someone comes in and just takes over, you hurt yourself and no one seems to care and what i thought was…”does anyone appreciate me?”

    i look forward to part 2, your ponderings on what was going on in your inner world during that moment.

    and just so you know, i would have run to your side, looked carefully at the wound, run it under cold water, applied antibiotic cream and put a spiderman bandaid on it. but then again i’m a mom.

  5. 10 Dawn May 17, 2010 at 11:24 am

    It’s THIS stuff … the details, the little things. I LOVE the details like these that storm our minds and make the moments in life. YES!

  6. 11 "J" May 17, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    haha mom youre dumb and confused me with youngest son AGAIN!! cuz HE came down. i was in the basement lifting and had no idea anything happened until over an hour after it was all done with. funny how you always confuse him w me when its a good thing and me with him when its a bad thing. COOL! >:O

  7. 13 Tammy May 17, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    awww…I thought this would have a big happy ending which some good chuckles but now I just want to give you a big hug.

    I hope you are feeling better soon.

    If you are feeling the need to stab someone back I could point you in a few directions!

    • 14 les May 17, 2010 at 3:45 pm

      Thanks, Tammy. I’m feeling much better now…at least until hubby reads this =o I’ll let it go this time…but I know you could find me some scary people lol

  8. 15 paula May 18, 2010 at 1:26 am

    OMG you painted such a vivid picture I was almost there in the kitchen with you! I’m sorry for your pain..really I am but it was bit comical too. …(in a stooges kind of way) Yelling OMG he stabbed me and the kids not looking to help you… Men of all ages are so oblivious I swear! Your husband is still probably wondering why you’re mad that he “helped” you. Positive points of view though…kind of….I know that you and Big Daddy must show you’re love in front of the kids for them to not react in your defense…and for whatever reason…He was “trying” to help even if it was inconciderate and demented in the long run. He did serve and clean up…eventually… I know that you’re in real pain. It’s terrible to feel underappreciated too. I think that comes with living with so many boys! They just don’t see us and clean laundry etc just appear like magic. But, from my point of view…You are still damn lucky! I’ve been divorced for a long time I guess….sigh Sending hugs your way…xx

    • 16 les May 18, 2010 at 8:31 am

      Looking back, it was kind of comical–even though my thumb is still black and blue (Yes, I’m milking this for all it’s worth!) And I am lucky. I got 4 great guys–they just tick me off sometimes because they act like…guys. But most of the time it’s great! 🙂

  9. 17 Dawn May 18, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    Reading these comments just made my day BIG fun 🙂 I love your blog and man stories Les!

  10. 19 Shane May 29, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    So I finally caught up on my reading and just wanted to say that A) i did not “come down” from anywhere i was right in the family room B) i actually came in pretty quickly after i heard screams (wouldve came quicker but the same screams are heard at the sight of ants) and C) i made the comment about someone dying after i asked if she was alright twice…just sayin

    • 20 les May 29, 2010 at 6:16 pm

      Well, I remember seeing you on the steps. And…I do not scream about being stabbed when I see bugs. But yes, the intensity is there because I hate bugs very much. Thanks for your concern. :-p


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