The Lowest Form of Entitlement

If you know me at all, you know I can’t stand people with entitlement issues.  Whether it’s the millionaire athlete who thinks he’s too important to pay the $5 cover charge to get into the local bar, or the career welfare bum finding every creative loophole to live off the system, these people make me sick.  Something in them has gone seriously wrong.  They think their own pitiful existence is so much more important than the rest of the billions of lives on the planet.  Their time, money, and air they breathe is all that matters to them, and they assume that it should be all that matters to the rest of us.  Knowing people like this has helped shape my attitudes and political beliefs.

I know there are all kinds of low lifes in the world and I try to avoid them.  But I recently heard the sad tale about people I actually know, and the dreadful entitlement issue they have.  I’m sure they’d be happy to live off anyone they could find, but their current target is their poor 80-something year old mother.  Before their father was even buried in the ground, one of the brothers had the gall to ask his mother how much money she had in the bank.  Who is even thinking about this kind of stuff when their father has just died?  And to actually ask the grieving wife?  It wasn’t like he was thinking (or would ever even dream about) chipping in for the funeral costs.

Some people put money before relationships, even when the money involved is next to nothing.  The story gets worse.  Soon, two of the brothers started hounding their mother about how much money she had, what she was spending it on, and even going through her drawers in the name of “helping her manage” her funds.  They changed her health insurance to a cheaper one without her realizing it.  The wife of one of them insisted she take over her financial affairs and give the mother an “allowance” to live on.  How sweet.  A grown woman getting an allowance from her kids — of her own money.

It’s not like this woman is incompetent or crazy with the little money she has.  She’s a little frail and sometimes forgets details, but no more than an average octogenarian.  She still cooks for herself, goes shopping and to movies, and drives.  And she has another son and daughter-in-law nearby to help her with the bill paying and incidentals.  Which caused another problem.

The mother lent some money to the son and daughter-in-law that were there to help her through her husband’s illness.  The vulture brothers found out.  While she’s been there for them their entire lives–and they could do no wrong in her eyes (which sad to say may be a part of their problem), they have decided to abandon her.  I just found out they wouldn’t even call her at Christmas.  I’m sure they’ll break her heart again this Mother’s Day.

I truly don’t understand the mindset of people that think their needs are so much more important than everyone else’s.  What makes someone think that they are entitled to a chunk of their parents’ hard-earned cash?  My way of thinking is just the opposite.  I don’t expect anyone to hand me anything.  I don’t expect a handout even from my rich relatives.  They earned it.  Why should they give it to me?   It’s a much less disappointing way of life.  Of course, if someone wants to give me something, leave me something, or hand me something, I’m not going to reject it–I mean, if it’s something I want.  But I would never expect someone to skimp on themselves so they could leave me a few extra dollars.   It’s nobody’s job to take care of me–except me.

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16 Responses to “The Lowest Form of Entitlement”


  1. 1 Dawn May 8, 2010 at 7:40 am

    The mindlessness of vultures like these brothers are all too common Les. The only thing we can do is protect ourselves from being around them, and if we are around them we must expend our precious energy by holding them accountable and safeguarding ourselves at every bend.

    This dear lady was blind-sided during a time of despair, sadly predator types relish in moments like these. Ick!

    • 2 les May 8, 2010 at 9:55 am

      I know, Dawn. If people would concentrate on making their own way in life, they would expend a lot less energy trying to suck the life out of everybody else.

  2. 3 Consuella Banana Hammock May 8, 2010 at 9:58 am

    entitlement. i read things like this post and i get disgusted. i wonder how anyone can be so self-centered. then i take the log out of my own eye and see just how entitled i feel most of the time. i wonder how many fights i have gotten into with hubby over a sense of entitlement? i wonder how many days i have been mad at the world or the system or my job or my friends because of a sense of entitlement?

    i know this wasn’t the focus of your post. i’m feeling reflective today so be gentle with me. i’ve been thinking about selfishness a lot this weekend and i just get a little disgusted at myself when i’m honest with how self-centered i can be.

    maybe i’m saying that our entire culture is saturated with it. i see it in me, not in the same ways but some are equally as harmful to others. is this sense of entitlement cultural or just a part of human nature? something to think about….

    • 4 les May 8, 2010 at 7:34 pm

      You don’t seem to be a taker at all, Consuella. You care about your friends, go to work and take care of your family. It IS human nature to be selfish; there are few Mother Teresas in this world. I would prefer to win the lottery than have someone else win, and I’m sure most people would prefer their kid get the scholarship over the neighbor’s kid. The difference is, we realize that if we don’t win the lottery, we have to make our own way in the world. We don’t expect other people to pay our way. We realize that it’s not natural for someone else to give up on their own inherent selfishness and want to bestow the fruits of their labor on us.

      I do believe our current culture may be a little more “entitled” than prior generations. Part of this is parents allowing their children to believe they are the center of the universe. While our kids may be the center of our world, people need to raise them to respect the rights of others. Let them know that in the real world everybody doesn’t get the trophy; you may have to work a little harder for it and even if you don’t win one, it’s not the end of the world. I’ve seen kids causing a ruckus out in public and the parents are too lazy to even correct them or tell them they are infringing on the rights of the people around them. These kids grow up with the same entitled attitude.

    • 5 Cyndi May 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm

      Consuella,

      I totally understand what you are talking about. We didn’t get the reputation of “ugly Americans” by accident. Our society in general tells us we are entitled to all sorts of things big and small.

      On a more personal level, in a recent similarly reflective state I noticed myself judging someone for their behavior and realized I was actually judging myself as I had behaved similarly in the past. I felt entitled to judge a complete stranger for doing something I myself had once done because I hadn’t done it as “badly” or in public. There is nothing more self-centered than making myself feel better by thinking I am above someone else.

      Also off topic (sorry Les!) but I loved your comment.

    • 6 les May 10, 2010 at 11:26 pm

      OK Cyndi and Consuella. I’m curious now. Care to share the dark sides of two of my favorite bloggers? 😉

    • 7 Cyndi May 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm

      LOL Les – my dark side can almost always be found on my blog. 🙂

  3. 8 paula May 10, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    This is almost painful to read. I know this happens all to often. It’s awful. It actually made me mad at complete strangers. Excuse me while I go thank my mom for the help shes provided for me lately.

  4. 9 Cyndi May 10, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    So many people in the world think they are more important than others and where money is concerned, even normally civilized people can turn into absolute monsters. I hope she doesn’t lose all her money.

    I’ve seen many a mortgage loan application with a power of attorney signed over to an adult child of an elderly individual getting cash out. They always make me wonder. Sometimes we do find out that the elderly person’s signature was forged on the power of attorney or that they were not competent when they did sign it. It’s so sad.

  5. 10 robinaltman May 10, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    That is simply despicable. The poor woman. I can’t imagine thinking about that sort of thing when a loved one dies. It is so selfish and crass. They should be ashamed.

    The vulture children are the ones who will lose out in the end. Relationships are fulfilling. Money – you spend it. It goes. It’s only paper.

  6. 11 Tammy May 12, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    This post hits so close to home. My great grandmother was very wealthy and her daughter (my grandmother) took advantage of her in so many ways before she died. Now that great grandma has passed on my grandmother is pissing away every penny without giving even a thought to her 8 children. The entire family is at odds because the children feel entitled, grandma feels her hard life entitles her, and the some of the grandchildren feel they are entitled. I personally would just like to be able to sit at that tiny little table with my great grandmother again dunking my gingersnap cookies in a cold glass of milk while she tells me the stories she has told me a millions times as if I have never heard them before.

    • 12 les May 12, 2010 at 4:05 pm

      Wow, Tammy. Money does such creepy things to people. I’m glad there are still some people who don’t put material things above relationships.

      People that think they’re entitled to anything they haven’t earned themselves: GET OVER IT. You’re just not that important!!

  7. 13 Ben May 15, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    Greetings.

    You do not know me, as I happened to stumble upon this, and to be truthful, this post has managed to offend me.

    Because, for example, take a single mother who has two children, who could not work and had to be on welfare so the three could get by and purchase their necessary valuables, as well as perhaps recieving financial help from family who do not live with them. What would you say about such a situation? And surely, they do not think their lives are more important than anybody else’s, as you have stated. My apologies if this situation does not relate to the main focus of this post.

    Regards,
    Ben

    • 14 les May 16, 2010 at 11:05 am

      Well, Ben, I think you may have missed the main point of this. There are people that at times in their lives need help to get by and I believe that is the only time help like this should be given. What makes me puke are people that set their lives up so that they can live off what should be a lifeline for people that accidentally got into an unfortunate situation. Watch Judge Judy or Judge Mathis sometime. There are idiots that take and take (even from their friends and relatives) and think they are 100% entitled to beg, borrow, and steal without ever paying back. It’s sickening. There are also some people who make mistakes and NEVER learn from them. They keep popping out babies they can’t take care of. They spend their welfare checks on drugs and alcohol. These are the people that need a BIG dose of tough love, meaning no more money from Uncle Sam.

  8. 15 Cindy #2(the former Cindy Alden) May 16, 2010 at 12:23 am

    It’s always that way.When $ is involved people’s true colors come out.As my uncle would say”you leave this world in a hearse,not a Brink’s truck!”


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