College Slumlords Victim of Homicidal Mama

This could very well be tomorrows headlines, if I wasn’t 50 miles away and terrified of jail.  I’m still hyperventilating and shaking due to uncontrollable anger.

I was calmly sitting here at the computer, which I’ve ignored the past couple of days trying to actually get other things done, when I heard the little tinkling tune my cell phone plays when one of the kids calls.  I like talking to the kids, but usually I wince when I hear that sound.  If they’re calling me, it usually means that  1)  They need me to get them something that’s going to cost a bunch of money, or 2) they want me to pay one of their bills or have a problem that’s going to take a chunk out of my day to help them solve, or 3) T-Mobile or some other crappy monopolistic entity is ripping them off again and I’m going to be fired up when I hear about it.

Today, it was option #3.  The villain wasn’t T-Mobile, though.  It was once again those college landlords from hell.

If any of you reading this are college students or parents of soon-to-be students, heed my words.  Try to get university housing.  It may not be so glamorous and it might be a bit more restrictive, but you’re not so much at the mercy of some greedy scumbag.  Colleges are not solely in the business of providing substandard housing at the highest possible price, and you have a chain of command that you can approach if there is a problem with the college dorm.  Schools want you to be happy so that you’ll stay there and recommend the place to your friends.  These off-campus slumlords pretty much have no one that they have to answer to, and because housing is usually short in supply and high in demand in most college towns, they can charge premium prices for garbage dumps.  Also, because their tenants are young and naive in the evil ways of the world, they try whatever they can to take advantage of them.

Back when he signed the contract with Satan lease, he gave them a $300 security deposit AND a $600+ deposit to hold the unfinished apartment because, quite frankly, he waited until the last minute to find housing and we were quite desperate.  Even then, I doubted in my heart that even if he leaves that apartment in better shape than when he moved in, that $300 security deposit will be seen again.  I know that once these bastards get their hands on your money they will never let it go.  But today, when he went to pay the balance due for the semester, the freak told him he only paid the $300 security deposit!  So what does naive son do?  He pays the entire balance of the rent without consideration of the $600+ he already paid.  The freak told him if he finds proof he paid it, he’ll deduct it off of next semester’s rent.  Ha!

Well, obviously, since he wrote a check, Middle Son J has a canceled check he can print up as proof but he didn’t have it at the time he paid and the moron landlord told him rent was due today so J paid more than he actually owed.  J  has a signed copy of the original lease somewhere in this house, but being the young naive trusting soul that he is, it wasn’t carefully filed away.  I will need to spend the rest of the day tearing this place apart to find that lease.  Obviously, we cannot trust the financial records of these shifty landlords.  Other creepy scary things about these jerks:

When we first went to the office to look at the unfinished apartments and get this housing for J, we noticed all the security monitors they have showing many angles of the inside and outside of the building.  J’s attractive and shapely girlfriend was with us, and I’m not kidding you, these creeps were leering at her when they asked if she was the one who would be renting the apartment.  In my head, at the time, I was thinking that I would be afraid if my daughter was renting an apartment here.  I was thinking that I wouldn’t put it past them to hook up some of those cameras in her apartment.  Then J later finds out that two girls renting there are paying several hundred dollars less per semester for the very same type of apartment as he and another guy.  Hmmmm!  Not accusing.  Just saying.

If you read my last post on this apartment, you saw the ridiculous kitchen cabinets and heard about how we had to clean up scattered goo, sawdust, and other construction mess from just about every spot in the place.  Big Daddy was in the area several days ago and had to stop by to help J clean out the new stove because J said it smelled really bad when he tried to use it and he hasn’t been able to cook with it.  It was also loaded up with construction debris because the idiot contractors were so sloppy and inept.  Meanwhile, these jerky contractors are so loud and bumbling that they’ve made things fall off shelves in J’s apartment when they’re working upstairs.  I called my insurance agent to make sure he was covered under our homeowner’s policy if anything breaks (or is stolen) while he lives in this place.

They did finally give him one crappy towel rack, bathroom mirror and toilet paper holder after J complained, but they’re soooo stupid, their contractors installed his water backwards so that the cold water runs hot and the hot water runs cold.  This is dangerous because the stopper that would prevent him from getting scalded in the shower does not work.  It prevents the water from getting too cold instead of too hot.  We also don’t know if when he flushes the toilet, that water is needlessly being heated!  When he told this asshole about it today, he just said, “Well, you have water, doncha”?

I called Big Daddy to furiously vent.  I railed about how J ended up paying these jerks more money than he owed.  Mr. Voice of Reason asked calmly how old our son is (he knows as well as I do that he’s 22).  He said he should be able to figure out for himself not to pay what he doesn’t owe.  He should have kept better records on hand for himself.  All this is true.  But he’s still my baby!  And 22 is still too young to match wits with these Dr. Evils!  Then I asked him if he had their phone number because I was going to call them myself and Mr. Voice of Reason calmly said, “Do you really think that’s going to help anything right now given your frame of mind?”  and I guess he has a point.  I can’t very well wrap my hands around their necks and squeeze the life out of them through the phone line.  That’s about the only thing that would help me feel better right now.

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11 Responses to “College Slumlords Victim of Homicidal Mama”


  1. 1 Chris September 30, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Legbenders, meet Crowbar. Crowbar, legbenders.

  2. 3 lynette September 30, 2009 at 4:29 pm

    i’m with you on the completely freaked-out mama-tiger thing — i would be livid! i know what i was like at 22 and i was NOT prepared — i was trusting, honest, naive, and afraid to be confrontational, AND i had no idea about keeping records, paperwork, canceled checks….

    mothers never stop teaching, do they? perfect opportunity to teach your son just how to rant, and get what he is owed 🙂

  3. 5 Cyndi September 30, 2009 at 4:38 pm

    What a freakin’ nightmare! When I get there, I will absolutely heed your advice.

  4. 6 Dawn September 30, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Maybe these jerks need a little lesson, something that will get their attention.

    Here, and in many college towns, there is a Neighborhood Inspection Division that responds when complaints are not responded to adequately – they are like a Big Daddy 😉

    The plumbing sounds like an accident waiting to happen and I’d be freaked out too.

    • 7 les@mamaneeds2rant September 30, 2009 at 10:05 pm

      I’d love to turn them in, Dawn. I’m sure they’ve circumvented some inspection laws but I’m afraid they could make things even worse or that the kiddo will have NO home on campus. I’m still thinking this through. Robin, I hope that karma bites REALLY hard.

  5. 8 robinaltman September 30, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    I hate the landlord with you. What a creep. He needs a good thrashing. I hope karma bites him in the ass.

  6. 9 Evenshine October 1, 2009 at 1:54 pm

    I’m with Dawn. But even more so with Big Daddy (which I know you totally don’t want to hear right now). He’s old enough to deal with these things by himself- and, what’s even better, think about how prompt he’ll be when that housing form comes out for next year!

    Oh yeah. And brass knuckles. That too.

  7. 10 John October 3, 2009 at 2:43 am

    In many countries I’ve been in, they use hot water for the toilet because it breaks stuff down better and prevents clogging. Also, sounds like Mr Voice of Reason is just the right man for you.


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