I DO Appreciate Him

ugly antWhile my biggest peeve in our marriage may have been my perception that Big Daddy didn’t always defend me as he should or validate my hurt and anger with some action on his part, he seems convinced that I don’t fully appreciate him.  I can honestly say that this is not reality.  I know he’s one of the good guys and I really do appreciate all the things he does for me and our family.  I do what I can to show him that I care, but alas, I’m not the demonstrative touchy-feely person that I think he needs.   (I’m thinking he may not be truly satisfied unless I greet him at the door in saran wrap every night, like some loser with no life.  Umm, not gonna happen).

Although I appreciate hubby all the time, my need and appreciation has been even greater lately.  He is not only my partner in life, father of my children, and bff — he is the killer of BUGS.  And for some reason, bugs have decided to start bugging us!

As much as I like to pretend I’m a hard-ass, itty-bitty bugs freak me out.  It’s pathetic.  I still scream like a little girl when I see a swarm of bugs.  Although a lot of people hate spiders, those critters don’t bother me.  They’re single solitary creatures and I can handle them.  But great big social clusters of ants or gnats send me up a wall.  I’ve been brought to tears upon spying a giant teeming mass of squirming piss ants on a sidewalk outside.  Even a tiny fraction of that amount of insects in my home will send me into a panic.

Last week, it was the attack of Mothra and her clan.  I’ve learned it is not wise to buy and store grain products in bulk.  No matter how clean you keep your cupboards, too much rice or noodles is an invitation for an insect party.  So I keep things lean and mean in the pasta department.  However, there’s not much you can do when a freaking bag of rice that you just purchased harbors a little flying moth, which somehow multiplies into seven or eight despicable little rice-dwelling moths that fly around in your cupboard.  When we figured out where these things were coming from, I summoned all the courage I could and threw away the bag of rice with the visible moth inside.  Big Daddy said I’d have to clean the entire cabinet to get rid of all of the bugs.  I knew he’d done more than his share of the housework that day but I begged him to PLEEEEASE don’t make me deal with those bugs.  I had tears in my eyes.  I am eternally grateful that he finished cleaning out the cupboard that night.mothra

Last night, Oldest Son spied an ant in the kitchen.  About the same time, Big Daddy saw one crawling across the family room carpet.  These rooms are not connected.  Big Daddy told me to keep an eye out for more of these creatures.  Now, these ants are not the tiny piss ants that found their way in last year due to my leaving sticky fruit juice on the counter.  And they don’t look like the giant destructive carpenter ant variety.  They’re kind of medium-sized reddish things, and so far we’ve just been spotting one at a time.  There are no crumbs or sticky substances attracting them.  We don’t know what the hell they want!

I’m keeping an ant chart so we can figure out where they’re coming in at.  So far, I’ve spotted two more by the family room fireplace, one more on the kitchen floor, and one wayward little freak all the way upstairs in my master bathroom.  It makes no sense.  I’m getting scared!

It’s time for Big Daddy to put on his bug-huntin’ gear.  He’ll have my undying gratitude.  But I’m still not buying any saran wrap.


22 Responses to “I DO Appreciate Him”

  1. 1 Jessica September 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    What is with the bugs? We’re having issues, too. It’s like they’re coming out of nowhere.

  2. 3 Cyndi September 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    STILL no saran wrap?! Not even once? 😉

  3. 4 robinaltman September 23, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Oh, man! So sorry. We have stink bugs which get in through the fireplaces. I hate their buggy guts.

  4. 5 lynette September 23, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    what a sweet and wonderful rant! i hate it when there are bug parties — we don’t get them too often, but in our last house, we used to get routine invasions by earwigs, which are NASTY.

    however, i routinely test my powers of self-reliance by taking care of the bugs myself — i refuse to acknowledge that i want my husband to do it. i am kind of girly in other ways, but with the bugs?

    spiders i gently escort outside. bees and wasps too. they have important jobs. ants, i decimate. my two cats help a lot too.

    the ones i really can’t handle? grasshoppers and crickets. ugh.

  5. 7 John September 24, 2009 at 3:28 am

    Oh do the Saran Wrap thing at least once. Come on!

    “Saran Wrap! Saran Wrap! Saran Wrap!”

  6. 9 Consuella Banana Hammock September 24, 2009 at 10:08 am

    my husband is definitely the bug killer. i am not ashamed of my selective feminism at all. matter of a fact, i think next time i’m going to ask him to kill the spider while he is wrapped in saran wrap!

  7. 11 Dawn September 24, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Saran Wrap brings lovely thoughts of the movie, Green Fried Tomatoes. And I say if the idea does NOT trip your trigger, don’t do it.

    How sweet BIG daddy takes care of things that make you scream 🙂

  8. 13 Tammy September 24, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    Come my way – you can be a scorpion catcher instead!
    I just found one scurring under my sons backpack this morning.
    I have lived in Arizona all my life and never saw a single scorpion until I bought my current house. They are everywhere.

  9. 15 Cindy A. September 24, 2009 at 11:57 pm

    Lucky you!My husband won’t do bug duty and I can’t kill them!I stalk them,catch them,& release them into the wild of our front porch.They don’t return,though.I think that they’re forever grateful that I rescued them from the five,yes,five cats!

    • 16 les@mamaneeds2rant September 25, 2009 at 12:16 am

      I have released lady bugs and lightning bugs onto the porch. They travel alone and I’m not scared of being swarmed by them. I don’t even mind touching them. But those swarming, creepy crawly things or bugs that infest my food–they deserve to die. I should have gotten a cat. My dog is useless!

  10. 17 Chris September 25, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    Our last dog used to punch bees until their heads would fall off, remember? >.>

  11. 19 Beyond Bluestockings September 25, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    I’ve found you don’t need crumbs or sticky remains for ants to invade. We have them come to eat the sealant from around the tiles (yes, I kid you not!) and I have to keep the air con controls in a plastic bag or they eat the buttons. Grrr.

  12. 21 Beyond Bluestockings September 26, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    Yep, sure do have some nasty bugs here. If you sit still long enough, they just start gnawing on your leg… 😉

  13. 22 Cindy A. September 27, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Yeah,you definitely need a cat.Mine are constantly on bug alert.

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