OMG — It Must Be a Genetic Mutation

At first I blamed it on stress, or even impending menopause.  But then, I learned that my Tattooed Wonder Boy over in Germany experienced the very same symptoms.  Last week, while aimlessly scanning his Facebook account, he totally flipped out at someone who had pissed him off a while back.  At the time, that person’s face was merely smiling at him from his computer screen. It can’t be mere coincidence.  I think I’ve passed on some scary genetic illness.

The symptoms were the same in both mother and son.  The jaw suddenly tensed.  The eyes narrowed and got moist.  A feverish heat began burning at the core, rising slowly toward the brain.  Rapid-firing neurons in the brain caused nasty evil words to overtake calm rational thinking; uncontrollable finger-twitching resulted in excessive keyboard typing, allowing  nasty evil words to escape and relieve brain pressure.

The disease seems to lie dormant most of the time.  The triggers seem to be invisible rays emanating from Facebook.  A second trigger seems to be stupid vibes coming from drivers in rush hour traffic.  The symptoms are the same in both instances; however, without a keyboard handy, the words escape orally while the finger twitching creates a bizarre series of hand gestures.

I really feel I’m onto something.  I may have stumbled upon a new disease.  With some further research, I may even win the Nobel Prize for medicine.

In the meantime, does anyone know where we can get a family discount on anger management classes?

5 Responses to “OMG — It Must Be a Genetic Mutation”

  1. 1 Cyndi April 30, 2009 at 9:29 am

    Hilarious! Well, at least you aren’t alone. 🙂

  2. 2 robinaltman April 30, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    You’re right! It’s evil mind bending rays eminating from Facebook. Those bastards.

  3. 4 Evenshine May 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    Every now and again, this happens to me, usually while blogging (I don’t do Facebook, since it is from the De-veeel). It usually means I have to take a break from blogging. I find it supremely satisfying to give a thoughtful, intelligent, and highly acerbic answer. After a few days.

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