A Driving Theme

Work has been great so far.  Some years, you can tell from the very first day that it is going to be a grueling tax season.  Even the very first (and normally easiest) returns come in with weird problems.  Not so much this year.  The days are flying; the coffe’s been hot.  Everyone and everything has been cooperating.  Except — rush hour butt-heads.

I almost forgot about that aspect of the working life.  It’s not like I don’t drive the rest of the year.  But most of the time I can choose when I want to be on the road.  And I’m rarely out of bed during morning rush hour.   I’m usually driving sunny middays, when life is pleasant and slow-paced.  No one is rushing to get anywhere and drivers are generally polite.  There is your occasional idiot, to be sure, but since there are far fewer folks on the road, the number of jerks decreases proportionally.

My first two mornings back to work, I encountered the “exit-ramp chicken.”  It seems that in our area, a lot of drivers missed the lesson on how to enter and exit a ramp.  They think you have to creep all the way to the end of the ramp, sit there, and wait for a personal invitation to get onto the highway.  If there is a car approaching within sight, even if you can see them a mile away, they will not attempt to enter onto the roadway.  Meanwhile, most of us learned that the ramp extends so that one who is trying to get on the highway may accelerate until the coast is clear enough to hop onto the road.  The highway does not need to be completely deserted to make your entrance.  But when butt-head chicken is just perched there at the end, not moving, the cars behind are forced to sit on the ramp and miss the opportunity to get on the highway or cut-off the fool just sitting there.  The first day, since traffic was far away, I started pulling onto the road, assuming that the cautious soul ahead of me saw the opportunity to hop on also.  Not so.  She wasn’t yet done lingering on the very edge of the ramp.  I slowed down to give her a chance to hop on in front of me.  She flips me the bird!

Then there are the people that are so preoccupied with talking on their cell phones that they forget to actually navigate.  Particularly aggravating is when you’re on one of those roads with the sensor that controls when the traffic light changes.  You want to get home and relax after a long day at work.  You see the light ahead just turned green and you will miss the marathon red light if everybody just keeps moving and doesn’t leave a gap which will send the signal for the light to turn red.  And then, the jerk two cars ahead is too busy gabbing on the phone to keep up with the cars in front.  He just sits there talking, or picking his nose, until he leaves a gap big enough to change the light…but he squeaks by right before it turns red.  And you get to sit through a 5 minute red light.

This video has been making its rounds into the e-mails of other road-weary accountants.  We need a little comic relief this time of year.  Ordinarily, I wouldn’t condone the sexist message.  Men are also horrible drivers.  In fact, if I never had to shift into reverse or parallel park, this female would be the most awesome driver on the road.  But these drivers are clearly women; and there’s no arguing that they clearly can’t drive.  Enjoy!

10 Responses to “A Driving Theme”

  1. 1 paulascott60482 February 19, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Hilarious! Thanks for my first laugh of the day, and about your commute… I feel your pain. Don’t you just want to tap their bumper a bit and push sometimes??

  2. 2 So Much More Than A Mom February 19, 2009 at 11:39 am

    I’m happy to see you posting. I figured we wouldn’t hear from you again until after April 15th.

    OMG – I hate the slackers at the intersections with timed traffic lights!!! It drives me crazy. We all know how many cars can make it through because we take the same route everyday but everyone MUST cooperate by MOVING. Grrrrr….

  3. 3 mamaneeds2rant February 19, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    I couldn’t completely give up my blogg-y addiction. I hope to keep reading and writing all through tax season–but probably a little less frequently. I’m glad to know you ladies can relate to my road rage–bumper tapping frequently crosses my mind–except they’d be rewarded by my insurance company if I hit them from behind!

  4. 4 robinaltman February 19, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    I’m smiling as I write this because it’s SO TRUE! It’s so aggravating driving to and from work. I hate the end of the day commute more, because every driver seems to be a friggin’ roadblock trying to stop you from making it on time to the grocery store or UPS place.

    I have a friend who has such bad road rage that I love to drive with her. She’s hilarious. She curses and criticizes the whole drive, and I can’t stop laughing. The only problem is that some of the things that drive her crazy, I’m pretty sure I do! One day I’m going to catch her giving me the finger in her car.

  5. 5 paulascott60482 February 20, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    I was talking to my sister about road rage and she reminded me of an event. My sister, her 3 year old daughter and myself were passengers in my moms vehicle when someone cut us off. My mom slammed on her brakes and tapped the horn. From the back seat my niece said…Grandma! When you hit the horn your supposed to say. Move you F’n idiot! My sister averted her eyes as we all said nothing but looked in the rear view mirror at her, eyebrows raised.

  6. 7 Peldyn February 20, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    LOL, too funny!
    BTW, I am genius at parallel parking and reversing, I just can’t reverse with a trailer. Those suckers are hard!

  7. 9 sheribear9202 February 21, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    the only time i smoothly parallel parked was for my driving test….4 years ago… I haven’t smoothly parked between two objects since.

  8. 10 "S" February 25, 2009 at 10:42 pm

    you i definitely hate the “exit-ramp chicken” more than anything on this planet…haha thanks for bringing that up

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