Archive for February 13th, 2009

On Tough Love: The Octuplet Mama

Boo hoo.  Nadya Suleman was an only child and didn’t like it.  So she did what any self-indulgent only child would do.  She went on to fill the “need” she had by having scads of her own kids, no matter how this affected anyone else.

Am I saying that “only children” are destined to be selfish or over-indulged?  Of course not.  It’s all in how you raise them.  But something clearly went wrong somewhere in Ms. Suleman’s life.

The woman is well-spoken, but is clearly delusional.  She believes she can actually raise all of these children on her own, without government assistance.  First of all, even without the octuplets, she had six very young children and no real job.  Even if she had a job, she would have to make an astronomical amount of money to have to pay any Federal Income taxes.  In fact, if she holds any kind of job at all, with all of her dependents, she will receive money from the IRS every year as Earned Income Credit.  So taxpayers that are actually paying into the system will be providing for her fourteen children’s education, subsidized health care, food stamps, and daycare.  We are probably already paying for Ms. Suleman’s education.  How else can an unemployed woman with a houseful of kids afford to go to college?

The idiot doctor who ignored this woman’s apparent mental instability and implanted her with six more embryos (knowing full well she already had six tots and no husband to help) was clearly irresponsible.  But her parents–what the hell were they thinking?

In this age of entitlement, there are too many parents out there that believe being a good parent means indulging every whim of their offspring.  Perhaps Nadya’s parents felt bad that they didn’t provide a sibling for their little girl to play with.  She had to get this sense of entitlement from somewhere.  Nadya is certainly getting back at her parents for any sins they committed.

Not only is Ms. Suleman depending on the village to help raise her clan, but these parents of hers have given up their home, their money, their retirement years and their lives to Ms. Suleman’s population explosion.  They’ve allowed their daughter and her children to take up every inch of their small home and have actually had to file for bankruptcy.  We watched a Dateline report showing grandma and grandpa running themselves ragged feeding and dressing and driving the little ones to school.  Any parent would help out their child and their beautiful grandhildren, right?

Maybe.  After the first one, or two, or even three.  Maybe.  If unavoidable circumstances led to rough times.  But when a grown woman keeps forking over thousands of dollars to have babies she can’t afford to feed or provide housing for, mom and dad need to make her STOP.  By putting her out while there is still a chance she can provide for her kids.  By not allowing her to become so dependent upon them (and the public) so that now there is no way in hell she can ever provide for the physical or emotional needs of all these kids.  About 10 kids ago, it would have been rough for poor Nadya to make it on her own.  But at least it would have been possible.

I feel sorry for Nadya’s parents.  They look so tired.  And now they’re stuck with raising a houseful of children pretty much until they die.  The only other option would be to walk away from their beautiful grandchildren and allow them to be scattered amongst other relatives or the pathetic foster care system.  Despite her protests, there is no way Ms. Nadya can care for these kids without them.

I love having my adult kids live here with us.  But Oldest Son has started paying us rent.  We are not obligated to provide for him until we die.  And if he does something really stupid that he knows we don’t approve of, he knows he’ll be out paying a lot more rent to some stranger.  Which is why today he took out two bags worth of trash from his bedroom.  And why I don’t think I’ll be spending my golden years raising babies.

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