There’s No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

Or breakfast either.  At least not for Mama.

During the World Series, Taco Bell had a promotion where if so-and-so hit a home run, everyone in the country would get a free taco.  Well, being the coupon-clipping, bargain-hunting mama that I am, I was very excited when so-and-so actually hit that home run.  I planned to pick up my taco on that lovely fall day.  It turned out to be the day I had a flat tire, and I didn’t get my free taco.

The other night, watching the Super Bowl, which by the way was amazing, we saw the Denny’s ad promising a free breakfast to everyone in the country.  Wow.  We all shouted, “We’re so gonna be there!”  What day is it?  “Tuesday?  TUESDAY?  NOOOOOO…” I screamed, as everyone in the room cackled and howled as we realized Tuesday is the one and only day in my entire life that I have to fast.

Well, actually, I can have a little clear broth.  Water and tea is fine, too.  Absolutely no luscious plate full of eggs and bacon.  I finally gave in to everybody’s nagging and had scheduled a diagnostic test for Wednesday and I have to spend the whole day before prepping for it.  I’m not even sick.  I’m just being a good little do-bee and doing what the doctor suggested.

My mom told me on the phone Monday that she wouldn’t be calling me on Tuesday because she knows I’ll be grouchy.  She knows how I get when I don’t eat.  So if you know what’s good for you, don’t tell me how much you enjoyed your Denny’s breakfast.  Lack of food AND missing out on a bargain may just send me over the edge.

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13 Responses to “There’s No Such Thing As a Free Lunch”


  1. 1 "J" February 3, 2009 at 4:35 am

    hahahaha i saw that commercial too. it was cool i was like no way thats awesome! then wait… im in GERMANY they dont have fucking dennys here? so they showed that commercial just to be like “hah look what you cant have” haha how gay so dont worry mom you n me both haha

  2. 2 robinaltman February 3, 2009 at 8:06 am

    That is so annoying! Did you at least get your free coffee at Starbucks on election day?

    Hope the test wasn’t too much of a pain in the ass! (Ba dom bom)

  3. 3 Paula February 3, 2009 at 8:36 am

    Hopefully your tests are over by now and you’ve eaten??? If not I’m so sorry…I get cranky when I’m hungry too. I had to wake up my college age son early because he and his friends wanted to hit Denny’s before class.

  4. 4 mamaneeds2rant February 3, 2009 at 11:07 am

    OK. How awesome is this–Oldest Son felt bad for me and looked online and found out each Denny’s got 500 rain checks–and he GOT ME ONE. (Sorry J). They expire Feb 13th so not only do I get my free breakfast, I don’t have to wait in line. Big Daddy said there was at least 20 people waiting outside Denny’s to get in today.
    And somehow I missed out on the freakin free Starbucks, too.

  5. 5 So Much More Than A Mom February 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    The free starbucks on election day was just a plain old tall coffee. You didn’t really miss anything. And yes, I’m hearing Denny’s lines are insane everywhere….good to know they’re giving out rainchecks. I may have to hit a few of them today. 😉

  6. 6 goodmum February 3, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    Oh, that DOES suck. Sorry. 😦 I guess it would be kind of useless to go in and demand your free broth, huh? Blah. Sorry.

  7. 7 Emily February 4, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    wow, too bad i didn’t read this till wednesday. probably sucked to be a denny’s employee yesterday.

  8. 8 Peldyn February 5, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    I didn’t hear about the Denny’s promotion. But that is okay. My hubby took me to Olive Garden that night. I seriously hate Denny’s food anyways.

  9. 10 Peldyn February 6, 2009 at 4:08 pm

    We at least had a gift certificate that helped, but yeah free would have been better. I may have even eaten Denny’s if it had been free!

  10. 11 John and Perla February 7, 2009 at 12:41 am

    We somehow missed this commercial altogether. So…whatever. Anyways, maybe you should fast more often anyways. It’s very healthy.

  11. 12 Sheri February 7, 2009 at 8:38 am

    Mom, anything that is free tastes amazing. Chris and I went, waited in line, and had the most delicious pancakes, eggs, sausage and bacon known to man… OK i’m sorry….I shouldn’t be gushing..=P

    Enjoy your free meal, whenever you decide to go…


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