On Things That Piss Off Mama

Well, luckily the joyous holiday season is behind us now and I don’t feel compelled to be all warm and fuzzy.  Because it would be really hard.  I’ve been gritting my teeth all week because Youngest Son, who is definitely no wimp, nor a whining baby, is still suffering miserably with his damn wisdom teeth extractions.  He should be back to normal by now.  But the poor kid developed not one, but TWO, freaking dry sockets.  Even though his dentist assured us that it wasn’t all that common.  He stopped in the office yesterday so they could pack the holes with something to alleviate the pain a bit.  When the nurse informed the dentist that Youngest Son was out of pain pills, doc said, not too nicely, “Aw, he doesn’t need anything.”

Luckily, and I don’t care whether this is kosher or not, we have some extra pain pills lying around.  That’s because, unlike what it seemed this dentist may have been insinuating, we don’t take pills if we don’t really need them.  So when we’re done hurting, we may have a few left over.  I can understand how doctors may need to be careful.  There are a lot of people that would lie, cheat, and steal to get their hands on certain meds.  But like Youngest Son said, it was the way doc said it.  Like that Youngest Son was trying his patience or something.  When actually, we waited a couple days longer than when they said he should be feeling better before we even called.  Like, doc could have put it much nicer, and said, “I think you’ll be okay.”  Which Youngest Son would have been ok with that because he wasn’t even asking for the damn pills, maybe just a little kindness if there was no way to get actual pain relief.

So, like any good mama, I can’t stand to see one of my babies hurting.  I’m feeling actual anger over the situation, because I can’t do anything to help him.  And it’s so unfair.  On top of it all, I think I may be approaching “the menopause.”  It may partially explain the recent night sweats, although I’m still quite impressed with the healing qualities I’ve experienced with a good full body drenching.  Last night, when I was screaming and cussing at my new Black & Decker food processor, because it’s so unbelievably stiff and almost impossible to properly seat the bowl and lid (and then again to unlatch it after you finally DO get to use it), Big Daddy finally came in to see if I needed help, but did his best to keep his distance.  He and Youngest Son have been exchanging looks, and I heard someone mention the name Kitty Forman under their breath.  Do you know Kitty Forman?  She was the mother on “That 70’s Show,” who drove her family crazy with her menopausal mood swings.  I can tell you right now, I am nothing like that.  I have not hit the giddy manic cycle yet.

Then this morning, in the newspaper, I read about the wonderful Ponzi-scheming scammer, Bernard Madoff, trying to pass off some of his ill-gotten assets to his family members and friends.  Despite the fact that he knowingly swindled millions of dollars from his unsuspecting victims, wiped out retirement funds and charity endowments, the sonofabitch is restricted to his posh Upper East Side home.  Nope, no jail for Bernie yet.  Even though the petty thief on the other side of town is locked up pronto for a crime worth an infinitesimal fraction in dollar amount.  And, while some of his poor victims don’t have enough funds left for a decent retirement, almost-free-as-a-bird Bernie is mailing off expensive watches and diamonds worth more than $1 million to his kids.

“Sentimental personal items,” his wife innocently professes.  Like they had no idea this million dollars worth of assets should stay put under the terms of a court-ordered asset freeze.  Like they couldn’t find some inexpensive handmade trinkets or photos in their home with sentimental value to send to the kiddos?  Like don’t they feel that every penny of their ill-gotten gain should go back to the ruined accounts of their victims?  This is the same thing OJ Simpson did with his assets when he lost the civil case against the Goldmans.  Luckily, OJ tried to snatch the items back, in a criminal manner.  And so he is finally in jail where a criminal belongs.  And where countless other schemers, profit-skimming CEO’s, and deal-making politicians belong.

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5 Responses to “On Things That Piss Off Mama”


  1. 1 goodmum January 9, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    “when I was screaming and cussing at my new Black & Decker food processor, because it’s so unbelievably stiff and almost impossible to properly seat the bowl and lid”

    Oh. Hmmmm….So I could possibly blame this type of my own behavior with a slight case of perimenopause instead of just assuming I’m a bitch? REALLY???!!!! This is awesome. From now on, I’m not a bitch. I’m menopausal. yay!! 😀

  2. 3 somuchmorethanamom January 11, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Hey, at least you OWN a food processor. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I did! I hate stingy doctors/dentists. If you’re in pain, you’re in pain.

  3. 4 Kathleen January 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Welcome to the new season of your own personal summer. Fortunately you started these sweats in the winter when it may actually be of some help. And just as we blamed everything our children did from birth through about 4 years old on the fact that they were “teething” – blame menopause for anything you want. Who the heck would argue with a menopausal woman?

    And happy anniversary on the blog – you’ve made me smile plenty of times.

  4. 5 mamaneeds2rant January 12, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Unfortunately, even though I’m sweating, I can’t get my feet to thaw. At least not until about June. And yes, guys don’t much like to think about things like PMS or menopause so…it does give you some leeway. They kind of back off the subject and let you scream in peace.


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