Oh Those Gender Roles

Big Daddy and I regard our marriage as a partnership–an equal partnership.  Once in a while, but only because of my skeptical nature, I wonder if he really truly believes this as much as I do.  He was raised in a much different environment, where head of household status was conferred upon the male adult solely because he was the male adult. Sometimes I get worried that kind of thinking is still lodged somewhere in his subconscious mind.  In my household, there was no real boss.  It wasn’t exactly a head of household partnership either.  Sometimes I felt like I was the only adult in that house, even when I was a kid.  Neither one of us wanted our kids to be raised like we were.

We try to divvy up duties based on talents and interests.  We both cook; we both sew on buttons.  I usually cook dinner because I work part-time while he works full-time.  It’s only fair.  He does the yard work because he loves landscaping.  I take care of the finances because I’m good with money and I’m an accountant.  A few things end up looking quite gender based, although it could be just the way our personalities shaped things.  I generally took care of all the school stuff and scheduled meetings when the kids were little.  That seems more like a mom thing to do although it could just be that I am more detail oriented.  Big Daddy is the builder and fixer of the house.  As much as I hated hearing myself say it, when the kids brought me something broken, I’d tell them to see if daddy could fix it.  But he learned how to do this stuff when he was young.

Today, our stupid Comcast remote control would not change the channels.  It would not do anything.  I called Big Daddy at work about the “big emergency” because I had just finished all my work and I wanted to watch Dr. Phil. And the TV was stuck on Channel 200 something.  I ended up having to go to the cable box and change the channel manually.  Five hours later, I’m still waiting for Big Daddy to come home and fix the damn thing.  I mean, having to actually get up to change the channel.  How primitive is that?  Sometimes it seems the dashing hero must still rush in to save the damsel in distress!

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5 Responses to “Oh Those Gender Roles”


  1. 1 Emily September 10, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Remote controls and grocery shopping are men’s work in my house.

  2. 2 Pastor John September 11, 2008 at 12:13 am

    This man cooks, washes clothes, homeschools the children, does the grocery shopping. Mama works and is always the one to tell me when the oil needs changing in the car. We like it this way. It works for us. We have encountered many people who were so critical of it. Why doesn’t that man work sort of thing. I DO!

  3. 3 Sheri November 13, 2008 at 8:15 am

    This is gonna sound horrible. But since I was brought up on a farm, I was taught that it’s my duty in life to be a housewife, stay-at-home-mom, and possibly a teacher. I’m the first in my family to go to college, and my parents support that decision, but kick and scream every step of the way.

    My mom only worked when she had to, and that was when her husband was over in Korea and Vietnam (courtesy of the Army), and that was just to survive. Any other time she just cooked and cleaned.

    I mean… correct me if I’m wrong, but considering our economy and the way things are going to be ran after January 20th, both parents NEED to work just to survive. There’s nothing wrong with the “gender roles” but this is not the era for it.

    If we were back in the 50’s I’d KILL to be a stay at home mom, be the suzie homemaker, and the betty crocker… but now those are just dreams. 2008 is FAR from the 50’s

  4. 4 mamaneeds2rant November 13, 2008 at 10:12 am

    I think everyone should be allowed to choose their own path in life. Some women are truly not satisfied to stay home and clean house. It’s just not fair that society would expect them to just because of their gender. They would probably be lousy at it anyways if their heart wasn’t in it. The same holds true for a man. If he’d rather stay home and care for the kids and this works for their family, so be it. It should not be an issue for outsiders.
    Me–I’m certainly no Susie Homemaker, but I’m glad I was able to stay home with my kids–at least part-time. For our family, it worked out to have a semi-stay-at-home mom. For me, I got the best of both worlds. I got to earn some bucks and be with adults in the work world, which made me appreciate the time I got to spend at home with my babies.

  5. 5 Sheri November 14, 2008 at 5:36 pm

    That’s one of the things I like about owning my own business. Maybe someday… if I get the opportunity to have children.. I can use my business to support the family, and not have to worry about having what people call “a real job”.

    It kinda stinks though, because I look up to my director. She home-schools her children, cooks, cleans, and runs her business out of her house. This woman is truly amazing. I wouldn’t mind doing something like that, but I also have to consider that she makes close to 6 figures a year. That’s not happening any time soon. LOL

    My dream is to teach. I love being around children. This semester, I had the opportunity to get my feet wet with special education students. My student is a severe case, and cannot live on her own, so I went to the school a few miles away and spent time with her. So I just rely on my faith that everything works for a reason. So I’ll just let it be for now.


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