Death to the Piss Ants

Life is stressful right now. As my wonderful oldest son is packing up to go back to Iraq, I have a battle of my own going on. It seems my territory has been invaded by little black ants, also known as sugar ants. But I’ll not call them anything sweet. My daddy from Alabama referred to the little monstrosities as piss ants, and they will die as piss ants.

It all started with that damn 4th of July cookout I had here, where I volunteered to make a fruit salad because I had gotten a stupid whole seedless watermelon for 99 cents. I had cleaned up the sticky mess after cutting up all the fruit, but after the party I was too tired to clean everything up that night. People had left some plates in the sink with fruit remnants and just like magic, these critters had found their way into my kitchen. I hate bugs with a passion. I am especially freaked out by clusters of bugs. A spider I can handle because they’re solitary creatures (and they eat other bugs!). I won’t even bother to kill a spider if I see one on my wall, because I know it won’t be hanging out with dozens of its buddies. But ants, with all their ugly little freaking buddies have no business being in my home. I don’t like them, but I’ll certainly not bother them if they stay outside where they belong. But in my kitchen…

We were okay for a few days after Big Daddy wiped down the entire counter. (I was too totally freaked out to even go in the kitchen at that point). I made sure to wash any dishes immediately after dinner and not leave any crumbs or food out. Every couple days or so I would see a couple here or there but not more than I could handle. I would grab a napkin and squish the little intruders. As yet, we haven’t been able to figure out where they are coming in from. They just magically happen to appear in the middle of the counter. But I thought maybe they had forgotten about us when I hadn’t seen them for a few days. Then tonight, even though the counters were spotless, they were back. Not a clan, like before. More like a family. But after I eliminated them, another family. And the war had begun.

I went online to some forums. I armed myself with expert advice. I don’t really want to use poison in my kitchen, and I don’t like handling bleach much so I tried the white vinegar scrubdown and the whole kitchen now stinks like vinegar. Middle Son J says I’m psycho, and he can’t stand the smell. But I didn’t start this war, and war is hell. I also have bay leaves and whole cloves scattered strategically atop the counters, because some veterans of prior ant wars have sworn the critters hate these things. I will do whatever it takes to free my kitchen from these disgusting invaders.

Please pray for us.

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Update:  Unless you plan to keep your counters spotlessly clean 24/7, with NOTHING on them, get the ant traps.  I thought I had them beat, but if there was so much as a dish left on the counter, the damn things came back.  Eventually, we got some ant traps and let the little freaks carry the poison back home to their little friends.  Just keep them out of reach of pets and kids, and away from food.

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2 Responses to “Death to the Piss Ants”


  1. 1 Malinda March 21, 2013 at 11:26 pm

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an very long comment but after I
    clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again.
    Anyhow, just wanted to say excellent blog!


  1. 1 I DO Appreciate Him « Mamaneeds2rant's Weblog Trackback on September 23, 2009 at 10:12 pm

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