Are Marriages Getting Weirder?

I usually read just about every inch of the newspaper, which is why it takes so long. My guys make fun of me, but I am a walking font of useless trivia because of this habit. Twice this week, in the Annies Mailbox column, a wife wrote in about her troubled marriage. Both columns dealt with money issues.

The column today talked about the wife’s inability to find a job making more than minimum wage, despite the fact that she had some decent job skills. Her husband chastised her for not “pulling her weight” because he made about 5 times more than her in income. First of all, when did marriage become solely an economic arrangement? I would bet the wife contributes more than her fair share in other ways. Despite some big advances in the past few decades, women still do well over 50% of the household chores, and they still make less pay for the same jobs. And what about moral support? The woman works in and out of the home, is looking for a better job, and still gets no support from her spouse. What a pathetic marriage.

The second column was almost more than I could believe. Like, why would this woman even be asking for advice? What she should do is get herself to the nearest lawyer. Her Neandethal of a husband was cleaning out their joint checking account, transferring huge credit card balances onto the wife’s individual credit card accounts, and making sure he was living high on the hog on his much higher income while she paid all the family bills with her much smaller paycheck. Then he would take the kids on lavish vacations without her, knowing full well she couldn’t afford to go. Is this beyond sick? He is either a miserable nasty lout of a person or he hates her guts. Why wouldn’t you just go to a lawyer and claim your fair share of marital assets in divorce court? Would you even want to share a home or life with someone that treats you so horribly? I’d rather live in a shed.

Perhaps marriages today don’t last as long because they are more of a business partnership than a loving commitment. When Big Daddy and I get money, we put it into our joint account and build for OUR future. We’re not hiding or separating assets because we’re planning on being here together way after the grandkids are born (despite the occasional times I get pissed off and rant about “Stick a Fork In Me, I’m Done”). I understand having separate accounts if your spouse has addiction or spending problems. Some economic advisers even recommend all couples to have separate bank accounts. But I’m happy to say we’ll keep our joint bank accounts open, and I have no need to write in to Annie’s advice column at the present time.

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July 2008

Pittsburgh Bloggers

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