White Bread

It’s almost two hours later, and I’m still shaking a little.  My head just keeps shaking back and forth in disbelief.  Americans are losing their jobs, their wealth, and their faith in our government.  And now they’ve lost their minds.

My fellow Americans are obviously so shell-shocked from recent events and shady politicians that they’ve even lost their taste for good entertainment.  Adam Lambert, the most talented artist to grace the American Idol stage, has been passed over in favor of “one of the others.”  It’s not that the others were not talented.  They just weren’t in the same category as Adam.  They could sing.  Some could even play instruments.  But Adam was mesmerizing.

I looked forward every week to Adam’s performance.  He could take a song from any genre and make it new and interesting.  His voice was controlled, like a professional, and his vocal range was amazing.  He exuded confidence and had a magnetic stage presence.  This is what entertainment was meant to be.

Instead, our poor old tired country picked a cute little tween-idol type.  He can sing.  He’s cute as a button.  But he’s no superstar.

Were people put off by Adam’s eyeliner and nail polish?  Were they worried about his sexual orientation?  Or are the people that call in all 12-year old girls?  Because if American Idol is really about talent, Adam Lambert would be the American Idol.

TV Mind Games—It’s On, Baby

So.  Last night, after watching Biggest Loser and of course whichever Law and Order was on,  Big Daddy and I decided to watch American Idol, which we’re forced to tape on DVR.  We’re forced to use that DVR a lot, because the damn TV executives have decided to cram all the good shows on at the very same times.  Other nights, it’s like the vast wasteland of TV crap.  They know this.

We enjoyed watching the contestants perform even though we knew we would pay the next day at work for staying up so late.  Of course, it helps to be able to fast forward through all the commercials and fill-in junk when you tape a show like Idol, which is about 75% commercials and fill-in fluff.  Of course, the TV executives are aware of this and probably don’t like it, because I’m sure the sponsors who are paying huge sums of money for people to watch their ads are not happy.

So what’s a sneaky TV executive do?  They start running shows at odd times.  They overlap shows so that if you want to change the channel to watch something on another network, you’ll miss the end of the show you’re currently watching.  And…if you happen to set your DVR to tape an hour long show like American Idol, and it runs over that hour, you will miss the grand finale (they usually put one of the better performers at the end).

So.  We watched the show but thought someone was missing. “Was that nine performers?” we asked each other when we saw the tape was coming to an end.  We backtracked.  “Who’s missing?”

Freaking Adam!  They cut off Adam! He’s the one most people tune in to watch.  And they did it on purpose.

I guess a lot of people tape American Idol because when I happened to sneak a peek at my Facebook, people were talking about how they missed Adam’s performance–which by the way, was supposed to have been amazing and Simon even gave him a standing ovation.  WTF?

If it’s war they want, it’s war they’ll get.  This calls for some strategies of my own.  Tonight, we set the DVR to tape three minutes over the hour.  If I have to, I’ll tape the whole next damn show.  And when they change their strategy, I’ll think of something else.  So take that, you blasted TV moguls.

You don’t mess with this mama and her American Idol.  Or her Law and Order.  Just don’t DO it.  Mwahahahahahahahahahah……..

Happy Mama Was Annoying EVERYBODY

After working a stressful 56-1/2 hour week, I came home from work Saturday feeling like a weight was lifted off my chest.  Not only did we finish up all the tax returns that had, just a few days before, been hopelessly piled up on the shelf, I didn’t even have to come in on Monday the 14th.  Spring had arrived.

For some reason, this made me want to sing.  Just like Big Daddy hums when he’s eating a meal that he really enjoys, I guess I sing when I’m content.  And I was just belting it out all weekend.  Worse, since I’ve been stuck listening to “office pop tunes” all day for the past few months, these are the songs that are stuck in my head.  So most of Saturday and all of Sunday, I would just start singing that Daughtry ditty about “going home.”  I was doing it at first without even realizing.  I just felt so happy I wanted to belt it out.  And I guess the sentiment in me was that now I could BE home taking care of all the things I’d had to neglect for so long.  But once the boys started pleading and yelling for me to “Shut up, mom,” I felt even more compelled to serenade them with my feelings.

And while I was singing these pop tunes that under normal circumstances I would probably never even hear, I started to realize something.  Some of these songs aren’t that bad.  But most of the ones that are tolerable are ones performed by past American Idol contestants.  Which just goes to prove that all the stage parenting, marketing, and knowing the right people is no substitute for real talent.  And I hope the show stays around for a while just to allow people the opportunity to enjoy some real talent.